18
Aug 06

What Pink Floyd’s Dark Side Of The Moon Cover Would Actually Look Like…

FT + I Hate Music106 comments • 15,021 views

If it was actually on the Dark Side Of The Moon.
Dark Side Of The Moon on the Dark Side Of The Moon

However, having been to the moon, and more importantly having spoken to people who know something about the moon (FT’s own science teacher Alan), I can confirm that there isn’t actually a dark side of the Moon at all. Whilst it is true that, being in geosynchronous orbit, one side of the Moon always faces the Earth, that doesn’t mean that the other side doesn’t get a fair bit of sunlight too. The stupid idiots in Pink Floyd, despite making music that only scientists would like, misunderstand science themselves. One can only assume that the Floyd were talking about the Far Side Of The Moon: and so here is an artists impressions of what the album would look like from Earth, if it was on the far side of the Moon.
The Far Side Of The Moon Album Cover

As you can see, thankfully the moon would be in the way, obscuring the pretentious and poorly drawn prism art on the original. Indeed, if on the Far Side of the moon, not only would it be inaccessible to play, but there might be some hilarious joke regarding talking animals juxtaposed with a mundane human task. Gee that Gary Larson is funny.

Further discussion did point out though that while Pink Floyd are clearly stupid and wrong for asserting the existence of a Dark Side Of The Moon, they are also, unfortunately, very rich due to other even stupider people (including scientists) buying their records. So rich in fact that it is more than possible that, in the face of such criticism, they would try to prove me wrong. And thus invent some sort of technologically superior Moon Rover*, with a copy of Dark Side Of The Moon stuck to the back of it with some sort of high tech adhesive, which would endlessly circle the Moon remaining in the dark spot.

This is what that would look like.
Dark Side Of The Moon, stuck on the back of a technologically superior Moon Rover, with Blu Tak, endlessly circling the moon

(Hmm, not sure if I should make this a regular feature after all.)

*Better than the Mars Rover in that it would not only work but would not play a Blur song as it puttered uselessly around the planet.

Comments

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  1. 1
    nunyo buisness on 30 Aug 2006 #

    i really think that u are taking artwork too literally.
    u must not understand art because there’s this thing called poetic license. its where an artist can be gramatically incorrect or have a fact wrong in order to present their art the way they would like.
    if u look past the fact that the whole band was on drugs at the time when they created this album and look past the fact that there is no dark side of the moon, u might b able to realize that “Dark Side of the Moon” is a metaphor or u might realize that “hey! i kinda like this album!” btw i wouldnt call people that i dont know idiots, i mean they are pretty rich and they didn’t get that way sitting around criticizing and judging other people on their stupid little website.

  2. 2
    CarsmileSteve on 30 Aug 2006 #

    comment of the week?

  3. 3
    Matthew on 1 Sep 2006 #

    If the band you’re in starts playing different tunes, I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon. Your Big Trak is awesome, but it was not invented or available by the final Apollo mission to the moon, therefore, it could not have been on the moon. After Dark Sides’s 724 weeks on the US charts, perhaps your judgment is in the minority, or obscured by clouds. It may surprise you that Pink Floyd’s “Learning to Fly” was played aboard subsequent US space endeavors and some original Apollo communicae was sampled in their early “Astronomy Domine.” I guess this is my throwing open the windows wide and calling to you across the sky; aspire a little higher.

  4. 4
    Duckford on 18 Sep 2006 #

    By definition of you hating music, your opinion on any individual band has no validity.

    :-)

  5. 5
    Brian on 18 Sep 2006 #

    There is no way you could possibly be serious lady. This is by far the most ridiculous website I have ever seen in my life. Music is a form of art and creativity. By that very fact music can’t be restricted to being based on factual evidence. If all music was realistic the world would be extremely boring, and listening to music would be something similar to reading the idiotic observations that you have made on this website: very painful. If you hate music so much, why do you take so much time to analyze it? In reference to this Pink Floyd article, you should be ashamed of yourself for disrespecting some of the greatest musical geniuses of all time. You may not like them, but they are far from stupid lady. You hate music? That might be because you don’t know what music is.

  6. 6
    Eclipse on 4 Oct 2006 #

    Speak to me. Just Breathe. Don’t give yourself Brain Damage. Its just Us and Them. This site isn’t about the Money. Its about the Great Gig in the Sky. No need to be On the Run.. it can be Any Color you Like.

    ~Eclipse

    PS: hahahah… morons.

  7. 7
    Lee on 20 Oct 2006 #

    Not very good analysis/journalism on your part…
    If you’d check the linear notes, or listen closely to the album, one of the ambient backround voices states that there really is no dark side of the moon.

  8. 8
    cleanupyourownbackyard on 20 Oct 2006 #

    It’s a terrible piece; almost as bad as people who post about “not very good analysis/journalism” and then go on about “linear notes” and “backround voices.”

  9. 9
    Tom on 20 Oct 2006 #

    Oh come on it’s got a picture of a bigtrak and you can’t say that about most posts.

  10. 10
    Marcello Carlin on 20 Oct 2006 #

    Perhaps the bigtrak was insufficiently melodic.

  11. 11
    macca on 31 Oct 2006 #

    Brian on September the 18th is my personal favourite in a long line of f#ckwits who have left comments and for some reason obviously don’t seem to get it

  12. 12
    Stevie on 6 Nov 2006 #

    you are an idiot.

  13. 13
    brian on 25 Nov 2006 #

    “There is no Darkside of the moon really , As a matter of fact , it’s all Dark” the last line on the album. critics of Pink Floyd never actually listen to the music or the albums.

  14. 14
    ambles on 6 Dec 2006 #

    Have you listened to the album?

    “The stupid idiots in Pink Floyd”

    Listen to the end of the album properly and then post a new story that is titled “The stupid idiot Tany Headon”

  15. 15
    tracerhand on 6 Dec 2006 #

    Thinking the entire moon is dark is surely even more idiotic than thinking just one side of it is.

  16. 16
    Egg-Man on 10 Dec 2006 #

    Has anyone thoughtthat ‘Dark Side Of The Moon’ may be just a metaphor?
    After all, the album is based solely on the journey of Human life.

  17. 17
    Crow on 18 Dec 2006 #

    Ignorance is hatred. Critics of music rarely try to listen to what they are talking about, much less actually understand the work. DSOTM is a concept album about humanity and empathy — the “Us and Them” dichotemy. In making critical remarks about an album which you have not made the slightest attempt to analyze properly, you merely display your own ignorance and refusal to look at the issues in the proper contextual light. I hope that in future articles you will try to create humor that is tasteful and relevant to the music you are criticizing, and not ill-informed and foolish hatred-mongering lies.

  18. 18
    Marcello Carlin on 18 Dec 2006 #

    I wonder how much better DSOTM would have been if Ted Hughes had done the lyrics?

  19. 19
    CarsmileSteve on 18 Dec 2006 #

    I hope that in future articles you will try to create humor that is tasteful and relevant to the music you are criticizing, and not ill-informed and foolish hatred-mongering lies.

    bwahahahahahahaha, he don’t know us vewy well, do he?

  20. 20
    Marcello Carlin on 18 Dec 2006 #

    On your “Bike”!

  21. 21
    annoyed on 30 Dec 2006 #

    Funny that you call them stupid while they are being artistic, and you completely botch the whole “geosynchronous orbit” thing. Our telecommunications satellites are located at “geo” which is roughly 22,300 miles (35,786 km) above the surface of the earth. The moon is just a little farther than that at roughly 238,885 miles (384,400 km). Tidal forces keep one side of the moon facing the earth.
    If you are going to call someone else stupid, perhaps you should have a clue yourself.
    By the way, they have made more money being “stupid” than you will ever see.

  22. 22
    Normal human being on 28 Jan 2007 #

    hehe i actually laughed out loud at my computer when i imagined a person actually writing all this about a song… it’s not the audio book for an encyclopedia!! Do you take all songs literally? And judging these people by this is even more ridiculous… hehe things like reading this make my day, makes me feel so useful…

  23. 23
    Arran on 12 Feb 2007 #

    It’s an overrated album, in my opinion. Sure, Pink Floyd were super-influential and everything… but I don’t like them.

  24. 24
    Bert Nijde on 13 Feb 2007 #

    Ga klap uw thong door een canvas van sulfaat u oranje raap shagger overschatte!

  25. 25
    vaiz on 18 Feb 2007 #

    you know for a moment there, fellow floydians ;], i actually believed tanya was being intentionally literal, purely for comic effect. but then i thought…NAH. lets hunt the blasphemous bitch down and force her to listen to THE WALL…in its entirety…on a loop…for 3 weeks. thatll learn her! the sarky twat!

  26. 26
    Dancing Gypsy on 7 Mar 2007 #

    Mr. Pink wasn’t actually talking about the physical moon at all, but rather the moon was representative of the mind. “The dark side of the moon” refers to the mental state of Gilmour and former member syd barrett. “I’ll see you on the darkside of the moon” simply means that he knows he will eventually go crazy from the stardom as well.

    P/S: There is no mars rover, it is a government conspiracy – this means the moon rover sucks, because it is not any more advanced than anything because the rover doesn’t exist.

    muahaha.

  27. 27
    thomas on 16 Mar 2007 #

    “There is no dark side of the moon. As a matter of fact, it’s all dark”
    -closing line to the album

  28. 28
    Aaron on 28 Mar 2007 #

    Are you serious lady? Just the sheer fact that you call the members of Pink Floyd “stupid idiots” shows your complete ignorance of music. Almost none of the words in any of their songs are meant to be taken literally, word for word, without interpretation. Their music is founded on metaphors, and symbolism, that is obviously far beyond your comprehension. These “stupid idiots” are pioneers of rock and roll and some of the greatest musical minds this world has ever seen. Oh and by the way, these “stupid idiots” could buy your life and piss on it just for kicks and giggles.

  29. 29
    Al Ewing on 28 Mar 2007 #

    The best bands are the ones with vast wealth that they can use to crush the lives of others. Elton John is good because he is capable of destroying those whose opinions I disagree with using his incredible fortune.

  30. 30
    Samuel on 28 Mar 2007 #

    Personally, I thought it wasn’t funny. However, floyd post-sid are rubbish and the people defending dsotm as if a religious cult are hilarious.

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