3
Aug 06

Porn Porn Yes Porn I Said Porn

FT + Proven By Science + The Brown Wedge9 comments • 73,695 views

Hello. You are probably here because this page, on a pop culture site, is #6 on searches for “porn” on Bing.

There is no porn here. There never was porn here. There used to be an article about how using the word ‘porn’ as a metaphor – “disaster porn”, for instance – was a crass and misleading attempt to get hits.

But that’s algorithms for ya! After a bit I edited the original post so it had a header saying basically what the start of this one says – search on Bing, no porn, etc etc.

This now appears under the link on Bing, which was the idea, because I wanted to make it really obvious that there isn’t any porn at this site and so you shouldn’t bother clicking.

Bing being Bing, the stark declaration that the page was NOT porn actually helped it RISE up the rankings of a search for “porn”.

(If I was a pornographer paying an SEO money for a ranking of 7th or below on Bing, I would be a bit cross at this. Probably nobody actually cares about Bing SEO though. Want to know how many clicks this post gets via Google? NONE AT ALL. That’s because it ISN’T PORN.)

So, anyway, if you’re reading this you went looking for porn. On Bing. And clicked a link whose description said “no porn here”. Hey – it’s a strategy! Let’s not knock it!

You’re not alone, either – about 200 other people will be reading this post today, glumly flapping their dick around as they scroll down looking for nipples. Perhaps the sudden sense of community you’re feeling makes up for the average 1m 28s you’ve wasted here.

What’s that? You resent my assumption that you’re a man searching for porn on Bing? If you say so, dude. But if you’re looking for ladysmut we CAN help you – Freaky Trigger is happy to endorse mucky wimmen’s mag Filament. There! All solved! Happy browsing!

Comments

  1. 1
    Tom on 6 Aug 2006 #

    It’s working!

  2. 2
    Tom on 9 Aug 2006 #

    It’s really working!

  3. 3
    Admin on 9 Aug 2006 #

    350 googled referrals and rising

  4. 4
    Tom on 9 Aug 2006 #

    I’m a bit amazed in that I thought just putting “porn” in a thread title surely wouldn’t work as a hit generation method in 2006.

    All the searchers, I hope that somewhere on the interweb you find what you seek.

  5. 5
    Admin on 9 Aug 2006 #

    6th hit on msn!

  6. 6
    Tits Mcgee on 7 Nov 2006 #

    Nice job guys, you caught me i was searching for porn. Your right i usually dont search for the word “PORN” but today i did. And look were i ended up! Nice very nice!

    Sincerly,
    Tits Mcgee

  7. 7
    Tom on 10 Jun 2009 #

    10th hit on Bing’s UK search! Good old Bing.

  8. 8
    Porr on 16 Sep 2009 #

    Thanks for the post! I’m also searching for porn movies.

  9. 9
    Mark G on 22 Oct 2013 #

    Then again, if you added “Hot Love” to the title…

Add your comment

(Register to guarantee your comments don't get marked as spam.)


Required

Required (Your email address will not be published)

Top of page