6
Jul 06

BRAVO COKE ZERO

FT + Proven By Science + Pumpkin Publog22 comments • 5,834 views

coke zeroDo you remember 80s film Flight of the Navigator? I have seen it about ninety grillion times – the story of a boy who gets abducted by ALIENGS and then ends up returning to his family about 10 years in the future or so to find his brother is OLDER than him – gosh!! Anyway, plenty of things have changed in the world since he’s been gone – Sarah Jessica Parker has stopped her ballet training and got a part in the film as some sort of assistant at the Science Park that is looking after the little boy. He’s got to be fed and clothed, right? So what do all boys like to drink? COKE PLEASE!

Except – STOP RIGHT THERE PUNY CHILD!! It is the 80s and now we have LOTS of coke! Small child sits there bemused as SJP reels off, “Will that be new Coke, diet Coke, classic Coke, cherry Coke or caffeine-free Coke?”. Haha! The 80s! What sort of a tiny list is THAT! These days we have SIXTEEN VARIETIES at least and new kid on the block is COKE ZERO!

But hold on grandad, we had diet Coke back in TEH 80s… do we need another one with a new name? I’ve spent the afternoon being confused about the exact nature of Coke Zero – is it just zero caffiene? No, they’d say. Zero calories?! But that’s diet Coke! WTF! Finally, I went to the newsies to compare and contrast, and the difference appears to be that they’ve rejigged the levels of aspartame and acesulfamate potassium so there’s a slight chemical difference and you still get the same manky taste of articifical sweeteners. The main difference is that it’s not a “diet” drink, it’s a “lifestyle” drink aimed primarily at young males. Presumably the ones that were previously on their diet Coke breaks? Apparently Cheryl Tweedy is going to start flogging it. Men like Cheryl Tweedy. BUT HAS SHE EVER WORN TWEED? Oh, that’s not the point. OK then. Here’s another interesting bit on Coke Zero from The Diet Blog, which lists the other flavours of coke available in the US at this point. Have they missed any of our UK brands out, Pumpkin readers?

  • Diet Coke
  • Caffeine Free Diet Coke
  • Diet Coke with Lime
  • Diet Coke with Lemon
  • Diet Cherry Coke
  • Diet Black Cherry Vanilla Coke
  • Diet Vanilla Coke
  • Diet Coke with Splenda (don’t have this in the UK I think?)
  • Coca-Cola Zero
  • Coca-Cola C2 (again, wtf, not UK market I think)
  • Coca-Cola Classic
  • Coca-Cola with Lime
  • Coca-Cola Blak (VOM – currently not in UK market either and lets hope it never DOES make it across the pond, yakfest)
  • Cherry Coke
  • Vanilla Coke (VOM)
  • Caffeine Free Coca-Cola Classic
  • Finally – is it any coincidence that I have started mis-reading the word “Coke” as “GROKE”???

    Comments

    1. 1
      Stevie on 6 Jul 2006 #

      Surely “Zero” is Coke’s much-too-late attempt to hustle into the EXTREME BEVERAGE market of Pepsi “Max”?

    2. 2
      Starry Sarah on 6 Jul 2006 #

      I suppose in an extreme MATHS NERD way “zero” could be quite extreme – and there’s also “zero tolerance”, but I can’t see it happening as they’re selling it on something not being there, a minimal quantity – which they’ve already GOT with diet Coke, but it’s pretty obvious that Pepsi MAX has a different ID to diet Pepsi (although I have no idea what it may be)!

      Incidentally I think coke is ROUGH apart from when I have it at Bodeans or in the throes of an EXTREME HANGOVER in some form of Burgz0r/Chix0R environment.

    3. 3
      CarsmileSteve on 6 Jul 2006 #

      is it like UK diet coke though, or more like German Coke Light (available across london) which is a lot thicker and more coke-like than diet coke which is almost a different drink rather than just an attempt at coke with no sugar in.

      this may be my cue for the “Diet Cokes From Around The World” series i have been planning (man you need to try the macedonian stuff, it’s like TREACLE).

    4. 4
      Starry Sarah on 6 Jul 2006 #

      According to Wikipedia it’s a version of the continental Coke Light, it’s slightly different to Coke Light but not that different apparently. I dunno, I haven’t really spotted much difference between various coke lights/diet cokes from around the world meself! Had Polish the other day!

    5. 5
      Rufus T. Roofdog on 6 Jul 2006 #

      Bring back TAB Clear! Oh the excitement of taking the can home so you could put it in a glass. Otherwise what was the point ?

    6. 6
      Starry Sarah on 6 Jul 2006 #

      Are you some sort of Pete Baran?

    7. 7
      Tom Ewing on 6 Jul 2006 #

      I had Coke Zero the other day. REALLY NASTY. The obvious diet-ness of Diet Coke plus a rusty tang.

    8. 8
      Starry Sarah on 6 Jul 2006 #

      I spotted the dread COKE BLAK in Cybercandy. Yerrrgh.

    9. 9
      Tom Ewing on 6 Jul 2006 #

      Coke Black is much nicer than Coke Zero.

    10. 10
      stevem on 6 Jul 2006 #

      I discovered pre-mixed and bottled Black Russian recently, much to my delight.

    11. 11
      stevem on 6 Jul 2006 #

      I thought Coke Zero was alright when I tried it. It tasted slightly better than normal Pepsi, basically.

      I’ll drink Coke Lemon, Coke Lime and Cherry Coke still. Not Vanilla (loved it at first but then bleurgh) and only original Coke in bars or in a can if there’s none of the others on offer.

    12. 12
      stevem on 6 Jul 2006 #

      Bring back TAB Clear! Oh the excitement of taking the can home so you could put it in a glass. Otherwise what was the point ?

      ah but the can as also clear was it not?!

    13. 13
      alext on 7 Jul 2006 #

      It must be at least four years since I last had a can of coke — I gave up in sympathy with C, who used to drink the stuff every day but gave up on Dr’s orders. I occasionally (three times a year maybe) have it as a mixer in a pub, but that probably doesn’t count since it is horrible mixed in the spray gun thingy syrup and fizzy water coke.

    14. 14
      Rufus T. Roofdog on 7 Jul 2006 #

      ah but the can as also clear was it not?!

      I think it was when it first came out, but towards the end it was just a silver Diet Coke-type job.

    15. 15
      katstevens on 7 Jul 2006 #

      The only time I have ever enjoyed drinking any sort of Coke was when it had large amounts of vodka in it aged 16.

    16. 16
      Chewshabadoo on 7 Jul 2006 #

      I think it’s pretty close to ‘full fat’ Coke actually, I read somewhere that some people (“bitter tasters”) are more likely to taste the nastiness in artificial sweeteners, and while I can taste a hint of it, I can ignore it quite easily, as long as the drink is properly chilled.

    17. 17
      porkpie on 8 Jul 2006 #

      I am a bitter taster then. I just can’t eat or drink anything with aspartame in it, it feels like my head is turning inside out if I have it, horrible stuff

    18. 18
      blount on 8 Jul 2006 #

      the ‘coke secrets’ plot was the buzz down here for a few days last week. anyhow –

      c2 = coke entrant in atkins fad, it either had half the calories of coke or just 2 calories, i forget. it’s been largely supplanted by coke zero which oddly tastes closer to coke than c2 to me anyhow though both tasted closer to coke than diet coke which apparently was never really intended to taste like coke at all, it was merely meant to be a ‘diet soda’ produced by coke. right. diet coke with splenda = a result of wal-mart finagling, i’m sure you can read all about that somewhere. tab still available in normal ol’ tab form but it seems they’re mainly repositioning that brand as (another coke) entrant in energy drink market – you’re much much more likely to see tab in slim shiny pink cylinders beside other taurian nast than in a plastic bottle beside diet black cherry vanilla caffeine free coke with splenda. cf. coke-blak as their hone in on starbucks doubleshot, etc. market. coke-blak = one of the more disturbing things i’ve ever tasted.

      the best option obv = mexican coke

    19. 19
      Matthew K on 13 Jul 2006 #

      I too was confused, until I discovered that Diet Coke is an artificially sweetened drink based on the disastrous “New Coke” recipe they tried to introduce in the 80s(?). Coke Zero is an artificially flavoured version of the “normal” Coke recipe. So Diet Coke is different in sweetener AND flavour; Coke Zero’s only difference is replacing sugar with aspartame and something else I can’t remember, ace-K I think is the nickname.

      I think the latter tastes much more like Diet Coke, which is revolting. However since I drink Coke about once a fortnight, I just have the normal version.

    20. 20
      Matthew K on 13 Jul 2006 #

      Oh, stupid me – last paragraph should read “I think the latter [Coke Zero] tastes much more like Coke than does Diet Coke, which is revolting …”

    21. 21
      Matt D’Cruz on 13 Jul 2006 #

      I am drinking a bottle now. It is FOUL.

      Coke Zero – NUL POINTS!

    22. 22
      Sara on 19 Jan 2008 #

      Too many twinkies! I’m the navigator, I’m the navigator! That is possibly my favorite ’80s kids movie. I love when the feds are watching “The Price is Right” and the brother sneaks up to the roof to set off the fireworks. Man, I wish I was watching it RIGHT NOW!

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