Some of our readers will remember the cultural enormity of the summer 2000 Spiller / Victoria Beckham chart battle, as memorably covered on popjustice at the time, and whose outcome is recorded here on NYLPM. It is my duty to summon you to do your duty in a new, and even more significant cultural moment. The fate of Britain hangs in the balance, as new Coldplay and Crazy Frog singles are both out on Monday. I’m sure there is no need to remind you of the middlebrow horror that Coldplay represent, and their pivotal position in the brain-bashing hegemony of tastemakers and gatekeepers across the media spectrum. But perhaps it is worth reminding you that a vote for Crazy Frog is a thumbs up to cultural detritus, to the inexplicable, vulgar and naff, to the whims of the demos which British politics is organised to suppress, and which the BBC exists to destroy. So when you put your hands in your pockets on Monday and buy a CD single most 12 year olds would feel ashamed of owning, a slap in the face for smug yoghurt-eating celebrity no-mark Chris Martin is only a happy side-effect of a blow for cultural autonomy.