THE GLORIAS
THE GLORIAS
A new NYLPM feature – will it get as far as its third entry? You decide! Well, no, I decide probably.
A few years ago I was reading a comic called Starman. The hero of Starman is, frankly, a big nerd. This particular issue had him talking about “Money’s Too Tight To Mention” to another character. “Of course,” he added, “The Valentine Brothers version”.
This kind of flagrant knowledge drop is something we’ve all done – and file-sharing now means that ANYONE can do it, so it doesn’t even have the tang of expertise any more! Spreading knowledge is a Good Thing but the question has to be asked – is the knowledge right? Not factually right but, you know, right right.
I’ve called this particular rhetorical move a ‘Gloria’ after its most common manifestation. “Tainted Love? (pause) Of course the Gloria Jones version is better.” Here’s how this will work – we will post a Gloria and allow a dignified day or so for comments before the Freaky Trigger Science Factopinion is deployed to answer it. I reckon Glorias are about half correct, but we’ll see. Of course at some point we’ll consider the real actual original Gloria, but for now let us begin with this:
“99 Red Balloons? The German original is much better.”
Nice and simple, no? But is our straw friend right or wrong? Over to you (until tomorrow)…
Tom in FT /New York London Paris Munich • Pop • 419 views


I assume the Freaky Trigger discussion – which I apparently participated in – got lost during some transition, but anyway, I don’t remember anyone ever even listening to the English-language version of “99 Luftballoons.” I only I ever heard the German.
All the comments were casualties of the Haloscan disaster (see Popular FAQ for details).
The Nena thing was a transatlantic mix-up it now seems – the UK (and almost nowhere else) couldn’t be trusted to get a German language track to #1 so we got a specially recorded version, which did the business.
Also, Them’s original “Gloria” is superior to Patti Smith’s “Gloria” and the Shadow Of Night’s “Gloria.” And speaking of “Gloria,” I prefer Laura Branigan’s “Self-Control” to Raf’s, though I like them both, and I think they were probably recorded within a week of each other or something anyway, probably by the same people, though I don’t know this, and don’t know which is first.
Also, Cosmetique’s Lady Di (Why Did You Have To Die) is better than Laura Branigan’s Gloria. Better as in funnier.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EbAqI5cGUc