Alternative Band Aid Lyrics

(as featured in Guardian Society yesterday)

Take your pick from the intentionally funny –

“It’s christmas time and there’s no need to be afraid
It’s christmas time, Bono’s here and he’s got his shades”

“when the world outside your window
is a world of lies and tears
with Girls Aloud and Busted
still ringing in my ears”

– the unintentionally funny –

“Here’s to you) raise a glass for everyone
(Here’s to them) underneath that burning sun,
(Here’s to us) But don’t read Chomsky.”

– the painfully DOYOUSEE –

“We throw our harms around the world at christmas time”

– the scansion-averse –

“And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas time
As carbon emissions would’ve speeded-up if there is”

– the joyously right-on –

“Free the world
Stop Dick Cheney’s business/crime”

– and lots of links to further reading if you feel guilty for laughing.

(Update: but none of them quite as bad as this)