MORTON FELDMAN – “Why Patterns?”

I quite honestly don’t want to listen to this fucking thing again.

I played it while watching a TV show a few days ago and felt a chill, then felt…irritation. I turned it down and just let it play to the end. Today, sitting down for a serious listen, the dings and twees, bursts of moment and then long echo, seeped through my pores. But then my body followed the slow rhythms of the music and my heart jumped and my breathing staggered, like the arrival of anxiety attack. Then disengagement once again.

Other music I associate with that day, even other Feldman I can take but this is now just a shade too careful, a carefulness shading off into inadverant mockery, the mockery of a careful music helplessly referencing what is not careful.