17
Sep 01

Also not recommended:

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Also not recommended: Biggie – “Juicy”, Jeru – “Come Clean”, Royce – “Boom”, Dre – “Xxplosive”, OutKast – “Bombs Over Baghdad”, etc.

13
Sep 01

Buy British

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Buy British – American hip hop “losing its lustre”. Big and Pac still dead. Hip hop to be toned down by someone (remember “The Message”? “Stop The Violence”?). Blade still quite good. Roots Manuva still writes some shit lyrics (“To my boys that hassle banks like Jimmy Floyd…”). Record companies “don’t know how to deal with hip hop”. Record buyers will still, when given the choice, buy the record that sounds better rather than the one made in their own country. Guardian music coverage still shit.

26
Jun 01

Charlotte Raven today:

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Charlotte Raven today: “[The British are] committed to making stuff happen in the short time they’ve got. We’ve got a genius for compression. That’s why we’re so good at pop songs.” Hmmm.

3
May 01

The Thirteen Year Itch

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The Thirteen Year Itch – until I get my 29-year theory sorted out, Tony Wilson’s theory (Beatles in ’63, punk in ’76, acid in ’89) is the best bet because it gives you a little bit of breathing space for Something to Happen this year or next year (or even 2003 so you can claim it was underground but formed in 2002).

9
Mar 01

For one week only

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For one week only (and to avoid it being put up on the day the new chart is released), Pop Eye returns to NYLPM. Firstly, apologies. Pop Eye is a bit late this week, mainly because Tom and I have been busy being angry at Charlotte Raven for misunderstanding the pop charts.

Only one person to knock the Kitten off the top spot? Who could it be? Oh, well, would you believe it was Shaggy after all? He was just kidding all along. Still, that argument’s never going to hold up in a court of law, is it Shag? Of course, we’ll all be so fed up with it in a couple of months’ time, but that’s the beauty of the UK charts: we’ll forgive the man “Oh Carolina” to such an extent that we’ll play his return to form until the hook’s a catchphrase to rival “You ARE the Weakest Link…”

Atomic Kitten and OutKast fall a place each, with the CIN simply commenting that “Whole Again” had still sold, quote, “shitloads” this week.

Winner of the award for “most inoffensively dull track of the week” (an honour previously held by Samantha Mumba, who falls 4 places to number 7) is “Nobody Wants To Be Lonely” by Ricky Martin & Christina Aguilera. The title is true, I suppose, but I’d still rather be lonely than try to recall the melody of that one.

“I am like a bird,” says Nelly Furtado, which presumably means that he isn’t one, as he gender-bends his way into number 5. He had me fooled. That thing about the big hands and Adam’s apple giving it away must not be true after all…

Kaci manages a surprisingly high entry at number 11 (I thought we’d sorted out the chart-rigging thing?) but to be honest only Tom cares, and even he’s still occupied with his Mandy Moore singles.

Flick Scully-endorsed boyband Human Nature may be disappointed with number 18, but perhaps with the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 5ive, a1, Point Break and Westlife’s new rock-influenced(!) direction, the British public have had enough of bouncily-dancing boys with spiky/floppy hair?

The Divine Comedy can only manage an ignominious 26th, with Caprice‘s “Once Around The Sun” slotting in just above it at 24. They’ve always been that little bit too smug to be included in most people’s record collections.

At least one of Blaze (53), St Germain (54), Ian Pooley (57), Bulletproof (62), Bini & Martini (65) and Medway (crashing into the top 68 at number 67), none of which I’ve heard, must be shit, which may very well signal the beginning of the end for shit trance riding high on the UK chart. Seeing as hard house is the next big thing (it must be – I’ve been saying so for about 3 years since I read it in a copy of Mixmag), perhaps we’ll get the good hard house next and avoid the shit stuff for the time being?

Not that we normally cover the album charts, but this week’s are particularly horrible: Dido propping up a bunch of chancers including Coldplay, Anastacia, the Fun Lovin’ Criminals, Toploader and David Gray. Only Eminem and Craig David offer a glimmer of hope.

Well, that’s it for another week’s Pop Eye. What? Was there another big story in the charts this week? I almost forgot. Quote this, you fuckers:

“THE MANIC STREET PREACHERS WOULD ONLY HAVE REACHED NUMBER THREE IN THE UK CHARTS WITH THE COMBINED SALES OF THEIR TWO SINGLES. WHAT MAKES IT EVEN BETTER IS THAT THEY PUT THE RELEASES FORWARD A WEEK TO AVOID COMPETITION FROM WESTLIFE FOR THE NUMBER ONE. SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THOSE OTHER SEVEN SINGLES INTO ACCOUNT, TOO.” – GREG

9
Jan 01

Jamie Oliver

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Jamie Oliver lookalike? And isn’t that Lee doing a solo bit?

8
Dec 00

“Proper Christmas single” my arse. Tagging the words “…at Christmas” onto the end of a line and introducing sleigh bells after the third chorus doesn’t count. However, if they’re wearing white fur coats in the video I’ll let them off this time.

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“Proper Christmas single” my arse. Tagging the words “…at Christmas” onto the end of a line and introducing sleigh bells after the third chorus doesn’t count. However, if they’re wearing white fur coats in the video I’ll let them off this time.

5
Dec 00

1. Lyric: Eric B & Rakim –

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1. Lyric: Eric B & Rakim – “Paid In Full”

To beat the lyrics to “Bring The Noise” to the top spot would surely take something a bit special? Yes, and so it’s obviously got to be something obscure so that I can feel proud of myself for liking a less popular rapper than you do. No, sometimes the accepted truth actually is right:

Thinkin of a master plan
Cos ain’t nuthin but sweat inside my hand
So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent
So I dig deeper but still comin up with lint
So I start my mission, leave my residence
Thinkin how could I get some dead presidents?
I need money, I used to be a stick-up kid
So I think of all the devious things I did
I used to roll up, this is a hold up, ain’t nothin’ funny
Stop smiling, be still, don’t nothin’ move but the money
But now I learned to earn cos I’m righteous
I feel great so maybe I might just
Search for a 9 to 5, if I strive
Then maybe I’ll stay alive…

2. Lyric: Public Enemy –

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2. Lyric: Public Enemy – “Bring The Noise”

Is “Bring The Noise” one of Public Enemy’s best tracks? Yes. Is it one of Chuck D’s best raps? Oh yes. Every time I rediscover “It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back” it stuns me, and that’s got to be something to be proud of in an album released ten years ago. This will always be incredible:

Now they got me in a cell ’cause my records they sell
Cos a brother like me said “Well…
Farrakhan’s a prophet and I think you ought to listen to
what he can say to you, what you ought to do.”

Whatcha gonna do? Rap is not afraid of you
Beat is for Sonny Bono, beat is for Yoko Ono
Run-DMC first said a DJ could be a band
Stand on its feet, get you out your seat
Beat is for Eric B, and L.L. as well, hell
Wax is for Anthrax, still it can rock bells
Ever forever, universal, it will sell
Time for me to exit, Terminator X it…

3. Album: Snoop Dogg – “Tha Last Meal”

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3. Album: Snoop Dogg – “Tha Last Meal”

The most talked-about unreleased album in hip hop is set to be released next week. Too late for the Christmas market, too late for the end-of-year polls, too early for the post-Christmas lull, too early for the post-Christmas disposable teenage income: what’s the point? The point is that the album’s shaping up to be one of the best hip hop releases of the year, and a very important progression in the story of Dre, Snoop, NWA and Eminem.

Never being a weblog to advocate the use of file-sharing programs such as Napster, it’d be unfair to comment on the leaked demos or the pre-release promos that we hear have been made available for download. However, I will say that on the basis of the song titles listed, the album looks like being excellent. With the usual special guest stars appearing, it’s like it’s 1993 all over again.

Also, Snoop’s raps sound better than they have since “Doggystyle”. Oops.