You can see what they’ve got on the bar at @OldFountainAles

Presenting the year 1989 as seen from the eyes of the storm. Remember where we started? And how she changed my life and how she made it end. Some velvet morning when we’re straight? So who were the gifted ones? The sensual stars of our wildest dreams? We sampled everything that moved – so long as it moved in the right circles. Black Riot was caught in the fire of Rob Base’s ‘cross-over’ – Technotronic bowed to Todd Terry – the Italians played the piano – rappers got dirtier, so more people listened – new voices were heard – Adeva really sings – some never sang – but they looked as if they didn’t ever need to – James Brown got confused with a woman’s pleasure over and over ‘Ow! Ow!!’ Remember that night? This album is the end of the beginning – we can only grow – faster, deeper, sexier! Good to hear these things again – they’ve been scattered on the fields away from home where they don’t belong. You fingered the sleeves of ‘those’ compilations and they got dirty. ‘Deep Heat’ was always too hot to touch for longer that it takes to enjoy the flame. So we did it all over again, but we added some new flesh to old bones – check side 4 – you’ll grow to love Kimiesha Holmes – and the warm feeling Mac Thornhill gives is just the start of ‘The First Touch’. Soul found it’s way back home and the fusion of heritage and future fell in love. The critics couldn’t find the talent but Deep Heat was there and we, and YOU, found it – from the nervous eyes of moonlight kisses we always knew we belonged together, and you created your own street-level ‘A&R’. Most of the tracks on Deep Heat were never played on the radio. So how did you fall in love with them? Fate as always turned a friendly card to those who are born for each other. How can you tell when the voice on the phone will become the face of your dreams and night after night, as strange as it seems, the face, seen through a psychic’s eye, becomes the love you never believed possible, her long dark hair tamed by wild hands – eyes glowing with love, and the sound of her laughter will ring in your dreams. Don’t let ANYONE stop you dreaming. Dreams are the visions of the soul our hearts need to survive. To teach to dream is to learn to love. Look inside yourself – the truth always lies there. And it shines – like a star. The turn of the decade will bring a new ‘DEEP’ – keep watching – keep believing – read those words on the sleeves if you want to know the future. The clues are all there. Be young, be foolish, be happy – but most of all – keep the dream alive!!

No writing credit…

Picked this up in a charity shop the other day, contains some real classics, although side 4′s new tracks are a pretty motley collection, Strings of Life obviously aside… Also as a 15 year old bedroom raver in 1989 i’m pretty certain most of these were played on the radio, given that there’s probably a dozen top ten hits there at least?

Length: 59:23 Played: 915

So the point is I can’t really objectively review a performance by a company who I’ve seen nearly twenty times when, in a way, they’re almost all a continuation of the same performance, it’s just sometimes they’re all sat down talking quietly and sometimes they’re all running about and shouting. I was talking to Tim Etchells, their director/writer/dramaturg/top lad afterwards and he said it’s like a very slow soap opera, and he’s right, the relationships between the performers evolve like those in a soap. It was fascinating watching Jerry being in charge and pushing the newbies about when it doesn’t seem so long since he was the debutante being abused. But still, Richard is the first to break from the initial structure, Cathy and Claire hold everything together and Terri is the chaos provider in the slightly shorter skirt, “what if heroin wasn’t addictive?”

This is, in my personal taxonomy of forced entertainment shows at least, a shouty show rather than a talky show, but it’s much better realised than the last couple of shouty shows, the music is much more sympathetic and less obvious (no 20th Century Boy here, just random Japanese lounge tracks). It’s knockabout, in a good way, not weighed down by Big Themes (although obviously it’s still all about death, as all Forced Ents shows are*). I wonder if the discipline of having to learn dances has made them really cut to the chase with the other bits, to be more focussed on what these characters are on stage for, which I thought World in Pictures (the last big shouty show from 2006) in particular was lacking. I was laughing throughout, although many of these jokes may have been only in my head.

What was fascinating was the number of walkouts. There’s always one or two who have seen a non-specific review or come along with their mates and expect A Play, which it isn’t, but there were probably twenty who were mainly, according to my sources, students from one particular performance course [cough]Sussex[cough] which I find mind-boggling. When we first saw forced ents in 92 (possibly 93) we spent the rest of our time at college shamelessly ripping them off because they opened so many new doors for us, so to walk out an hour in (the show was 100 minutes without interval) is, at its basest, to miss stuff you can nick. If there are more exciting and innovative companies out there I really want to know about them, is it just because the performers are mainly in their 40s now? That The Kids don’t get it? But really, who does theatre (-based performance, for want of a better phrase) better?

I keep on meaning to send Stewart Lee an email asking if he’s aware of them as large chunks of the philosophical parts of his (groundbreaking, awesome) book sound remarkably like Tim Etchells’ approach to performance, I wonder if this is part of the overarching “Mark E Smith is the centre of all that is interesting” theory as both Stew and Tim have confessed to early Fall performances having a big influence on their thinking…

The Thrill of it All continues at the Riverside, Hammersmith until 6 November, then Contact in Manchester, Rotterdam and Vienna!

Both photos by Hugo Glendinning.

*the 90s shows were about drinking, sex and death, but drinking and sex are less apparent now, particularly drinking

Music comes from unmarked CD’s we found at home somewhere.

Length: 60:03 Played: 1694

This week we talk of art (visual) with Tim, Kat and Rob, including Tony Hart, GCSE coursework, Candice Breitz and Pop about Art. Featuring music from Art Brut, Solange Knowles, Marilyn Manson and Sportique!

Here’s the Tony Hart clip we mention, it’s about three minutes in:

Sorry Tony…

Length: 58:32 Played: 2711

why YES, that’s right, I AM IN THIS YEAR’S SHOW! so if you would like to see it, the dates are:

5-14 August, GRV, 37 Guthrie Street, Edinburgh, MIDDAY
and
21 and 22 August, Camden Head, 100 Camden High Street, Camden, 8.45pm

Here are a couple of clips from our recent preview show in Lewisham:

Dear old metcheck have gone a bit funny this year, I can’t seem to get their events page to work at all, although their 14 day forecast is working OK.

The Weather Forecast says the back end of June will be “fine and settled”. Interesting that the ad in the middle of the page is for numerology, maybe we should just get a reading from them for the forecast…

Netweather (who appear to update their forecasts on an entirely different schedule to everyone else) go for the incredibly anodyne “Rainfall levels are likely to be variable – with many regions close to the average overall. Temperatures are again expected to be close to normal for the time of year.” Mmmmm, averagey…

Hidden away behind the map on BBC Weather is a monthly outlook which says:

The sun is now at its strongest, heating things up quickly given half a chance. But low pressure, taking up residence near our shores, will help suck the warm air up to form big clouds and heavy downpours.

This combination of heat and water causes the atmosphere to become increasingly highly charged with energy; and thunder and lightning are nature’s way of releasing that energy.

Expect interruptions to the first week of Wimbledon!

Whereas the Met Office themselves go for:

The somewhat unsettled theme with sunshine and showers is likely to continue at first, with perhaps a trend towards higher pressure giving drier, brighter and warmer conditions with some sunnier parts perhaps very warm. Southern and western parts may see more in the way of rainfall with the possibility of some thundery weather, whilst northern and eastern regions should remain drier.

I think it’s Pack Yer Wellies time anyway…

Other 14ish day only forecasts:
metcheck
accuweather
The Weather Channel
netweather
*yes, this title is a shameless piece of attempted SEO

Confessions of a Calthorpe Lover by Steve

I love the Calthorpe and was strongly pushing for it to be higher in this list than it is but I was DJing the night the list was made so wasn’t there to state my case in person, but I think it is my favourite pub in London.

It’s not the pub with the most beers in the world (standard Youngs selection), it’s not architecturally significant and it’s never been my actual local. In fact, sin of all sins, I think I’ve only been there twice in the last 18 months. What I really really like about the Calthorpe is its PUBNESS. It’s cozy without being dingy, it’s welcoming without being overly familiar, I’ve never had a bad pint in there (the accidental ordering of a whole pint of Old Nick was entirely my fault and it was good, just strong), you can sit on your own with a pint or get 20 people in with only a little shuffling and be treated just the same. In addition you can get a great big plate of food for five and a half quid, and there’s a good-sized function room upstairs. I have never had an unsatisfying night there, it’s a proper solid bouzer.

Yes, it’s looking a bit scruffy round the edges these days and could do with a lick of paint outside certainly, but god forbid they do to it what they did to the One Tun or several other ghastly Youngs make-overs.

In addition, some members of this parish have complained about the state/coldness of the toilets as being a reason not to like this pub, well on my last visit the (gents) toilets had been FULLY REFURBISHED, so there is now no reason to not go.

Confessions of a Calthorpe Hater by Hazel

The Calthorpe Arms was a pub oft-mentioned to me, in a sort of lusty ‘oh, imagine if we could only go there tonight’ way. This is not, it has to be said, unusual for basically any pub that my peer group know of, the vast majority of which are great but something made me slightly wary of the Calthorpe and it’s not just because I live in Shepherds Bush and it’s a pain in the arse to get home from. ‘Mmm, the burgers’ people would say and I would think ‘yes but what about the pub, eh?’ We’re going there for a blvddy beer but then truly I am still a London pub novice in comparison with most of the group and despite someone I generally rely on to have sensible opinions on these things warning me off it most of the time, I went to the Calthorpe whilst they were in France at some point.

There are several things that may have marred my trip to the Calthorpe:
1) it was pouring with rain as I and Sukrat approached the pub
2) upon entering I got charged the most I’ve ever been charged for two pints in the history of my London existence, in what in my opinion was blvddy out of the way to be overpriced, which given my financial state at the time and generally was a bit of an unpleasant shock.

These two things meant that unless the pub provided some extraordinarily cheap mulled wine quicksharp I was probably bound to hate it and so I may not have given it due chance but there are several further things basically and structurally wrong about the Calthorpe.

1) It is COLD. Also, it’s a little… well, ‘battered.’ Some pubs look well-loved, the Calthorpe looks like it might have halfway undergone a refurb, then run out of money, changed hands and decided to carry on with the paint half-stripped and too few chairs. I’m into comfortably worn-in pubs and maybe this is the fact I’m from the country and have a similar pub aesthetic to the average Hobbit showing but there’s something starkly bare about the Calthorpe’s gutted interior.
2) Which is not helped by it being shaped like a corridor. I hate corridor-pubs; you’re in a constant draft whatever you do and either you’re trapped behind a table and unable to get out without elbowing/rubbing your arse against the faces of either your close-seated companions or perfect strangers, depending on the size of your group or you’re stuck with your back to a thoroughfare, which is equally unnerving and results in your nervously going for a wee twice as much, as though to make up for your trapped companions.
3) Which in the Calthorpe means entering a windswept stable with the sort of decor and standard of maintenance a ladies’ loo in my university’s more abandoned science blocks used to get. The hand drier was hanging off the wall and dead, there was no loo roll although it was 6-blvddy-pm and there was black mold at the top of the concrete walls, either painted yellow or never refurbished after the tobacco ban.

If the place had been cheap, the burgers had looked genuinely good as opposed to scrotty, greasy fare that a pub with any sense of dignity would have priced well below the nine quid I think they were being sold at or it had been anywhere near anywhere useful for getting home then this might have been allowable and I can sort of see how people who live in North or North East London might think it’s a good idea but I am not paying over £3.50 per pint to sit in a damp corridor with a howling gale going through it, then have a wee in a cold, dank public convenience and stomp seemingly 398678479 miles back to Kings Cross to get on the Hammersmith and City line.

Supposedly they have sorted out the loos now but unless I see pictorial evidence of the Calthorpe’s transformation into a useable pub then I think I’ll take a chance on staying at home; many people consider my habit of living in places not convenient to the Calthorpe a sort of affectation but frankly if that is all I would be trading the Ladbroke Arms in for then you can keep it.

FancyAPint like it
So do RGL
Even BITE are quite complimentary…

Voting on this poll closes at midnight on Sunday 18th April

DENMARK: White Pony – “Falling” The Manager Says “Japan have shown promise so far but have failed to win so will be looking to win, but could try something unexpected. We half expect them to kamikaze on this final track, but we’re taking no chances and will assassinate them with our tune and skill before they even get a touch.”

Length: 3:20 Played: 249

JAPAN: Polysics – “Electric Surfin’ Go-Go” The Manager Says: “Japan’s position in the group has meant that it is time for the mighty empire to unleash it’s secret weapon. time to power up the giant attack robots. Nothing can stop us. FOR THE EMPIRE!”

Length: 3:40 Played: 224

Commentary Box Analysis Slightly hamstrung by the very late arrival of the Japanese team bus here, they’re pulling into the stadium with only minutes to spare before kick off, so we’ve not had a chance to run the rule over their team though from the way they’re twitching I suspect the physio’s got the monkey glands in. The Danish side’s bright pop-rap could give them some difficulties, but not unlike Chris Kamara last week, we’re a bit in the dark here…

Results! France 1 South Africa 1, Mexico 2 Uruguay 2! Two amazingly tight ties here, both matches ending almost exactly equal, Uruguay just couldn’t score that crucial winner that would have seen them advance, so South Africa go through as group winners with France sneaking through on goal difference. SA/FRA “Great flowing play from both sides. I really enjoyed this match!” “There’s much to enjoy from both sides.” “Both teams have copied the tactics of great Italian teams of yesteryear and have come out with something irresistable” “Of all the games so far this one has to be one of the best I’ve heard” MEX/URU “Following their manager’s communication breakdown Mexico seem dazed and confused. There’s clearly not a whole lotta love for their creaking performance” “Vastly prefer Mexico myself, what with so many quick runs and strums” “You are all wrong, this is actually the best Mexican track so far”

Coming Next The Dutch are already through, will they give Cameroon the easy ride they hope for? A victory will see them through, anything less and they’ll be sweating…

(There appears to be some sort of dog on the pitch in the other match in this group, hopefully this won’t delay the start by too much, we’ll bring you full coverage as soon as it kicks off…)

Voting on this poll closes at midnight on Sunday 18th April

CAMEROON Francis Bebey – “Tumu Pakara The Manager Says “I got lost today. I was walking out in Sutton Coldfield, far out, somewhere around Little Aston. I passed a church. I passed a tennis club. I passed a golf course. It took some time before I realised I was lost. It seemed to me that the appealing thing about this place was its stillness, perhaps its blankness. I was trying to get back to the main road. I was on a street. It was the middle of the day. In some of the houses I could see television sets playing music videos, cartoons. There were no cars visible and no people. That is to say, in the drives of a few houses there were stationary, empty cars, but none drove past me in either direction. Distantly, I could hear the barking of a dog in some distress. I came across another tennis club. The courts were surrounded by high wooden fences. I could not see in, but I could hear a tennis ball being batted gently back and forth and the scrape of feet on gravel. I moved along the fence to roughly where the sounds were coming from. Excuse me, I shouted. Excuse me. I heard the ball hit racquet strings awkwardly and bounce and dribble to a halt. Then I could hear nothing. Or rather, I thought I could hear the sound of people trying to be still – a nothing sound punctuated by occasional ambient noise: a scrape, a dull thud. Excuse me, I shouted again, I’m sorry to disturb your game, but I’m afraid I’m lost, could you help me get back to the main road? I waited for a reply, but nothing came. I thought I could discern the sound of someone trying to control their breathing. Please, I shouted again, I’ve been searching for the main road for over an hour, could you just point me in the right direction? Again, I waited and again there was nothing. I banged on the wooden fence in frustration. I strode around the perimeter of the tennis club, seeking an entrance. But the wooden gate was bolted from the inside and too high to climb. Crestfallen, I walked away. Halfway down the road I thought I could hear the sounds of the tennis game restarting. I considered going back, but I managed to control my frustration and continued on. It took me a further hour and a half to get back to the main road.”

Length: 4:33 Played: 188

NETHERLANDS The Black Atlantic – “Heirloom” The Manager Says “Through a combination of superlative skill and outrageous good fortune, we’ve reached the position of being certainties to top group E with a game to spare. At this point we are, you could say, playing for ourselves. And if anyone votes for us, it’s a bonus.”

Length: 4:06 Played: 219

Commentary Box Analysis An intriguing tie here, both managers choosing to step away from the thud and blunder that has characterised a number of ties in this third group round. The Cameroon track, marvellously, seems to evoke getting lost in Sutton Coldfield almost perfectly, as they attempt to hypnotise the Dutch side into scoring a series of improbable own goals. The Netherlands track itself is a contemplative number, I wouldn’t go as far as saying that the second stringers have gone into a sulk about not making the first team, but we’ve seen this sort of behaviour by Dutch teams of the past…

Coming Next In group F, with New Zealand already through, Italy have to marmalise (technical term) Slovakia to stand a chance of getting into the last 16, but Paraguay can’t afford to hope goal difference is enough to see them through…

This match closes at midnight on Sunday 11th April

FRANCE: Magazine 60 – “Don Quichotte” The Manager Says: “No press conference as I have no idea who these people are apart from that they’re French and this track is old.”

Length: 5:10 Played: 532

SOUTH AFRICA: Chimora – “Eli Eli” The Manager Says: “The team are still full of energy. Our play will be exuberant and so will our goal celebrations!”

Length: 4:38 Played: 509

Commentary Box Analysis Well, as you can tell from both managers very brief statements, they’re hoping their teams will do the talking out on the pitch. It feels to me that both sides have looked for an influence from the land of cattenaccio, Gattuso and, let’s not forget, four previous world cup wins, there’s definitely an Italian tinge to both efforts here. It’ll be interesting to see if the crowd go more for the cosmic italo disco or the often unfairly maligned big cheesy italo house piano riff. Let’s hope the French aren’t tilting at windmills (sorry, had to get it in somewhere…).

Coming up Both Group B games tomorrow, if Nigeria and South Korea play out a draw, it doesn’t matter what Argentina and Greece do, but it’s the most difficult result to play for, especially at this level of international competition where one litle misstep can see you going home in disgrace and one brief moment of genius can see you lauded and through to the next round.

This match will close at midnight on Sunday 11th April

MEXICO: Rodriga y Gabriela – “Stairway to Heaven” The Manager Says: “Disgraceful…. grumble, grumble…. referees are against us…. rant, rant…. wouldn’t know good football if it bit them on the arse…. rage, rage…. we’ll go home, but we’ll go home in style… rave, rave…. Rodrigo y Gabriela…. expletive, expletive…. ¡que la chupen!”

Length: 4:44 Played: 942

URUGUAY: El Cuarteto De Nos – “Nada Es Gratis En La Vida” The Manager Says: “That South Africa result was undeniably a disappointment, but for our final group match we’re fielding an experienced team (El Cuarteto have been together since 1980) who know that a loss doesn’t need to mean the end. So with open voice and boundless optimism, we’re storming the pitch and playing for the sheer joy of the game. Hoorah!”

Length: 3:48 Played: 853

Commentary Box Analysis Both teams aiming for a classical formation here. Mexico going for a very surprising, yet incredibly well-known track, Uruguay opting for something not so obvious but still with a team that will ring a few bells, certainly with those who’ve been paying attention to the British leagues of the last few years.

Result! Portugal 2 North Korea 1 A stunning victory for the Portuguese here in an match played in front of the largest crowd of the tournament so far. “Portugal have just fielded one of the starting XIs of the tournament for me.” “What they lack in flair, this Portugal team more than make up for in power, and the results are pretty awesome.” “the battle is Dancing vs Laughing. Which is better? Dancing? or laughing? Dancing…laughing…”

Coming next The real decider in the group as South Africa take on France, coming up in just a minute or two!

Voting on this match finishes at midnight on the 29th March.

CAMEROON: Ntoumba – “Sexy Makero” The Manager Says “On the south facing wall I have a lot of photographs of horses that I have cut out of library books. The whole wall is covered in these horses. The books I borrowed from the libraries in Sutton Coldfield over a period of several months. Not all of them were specifically to do with horses, though I rinsed the horse section early on. Mostly they just happened to have pictures of horses in them, for example a child’s book about a man who rides a horse. Recently, having registered a new library card under a pseudonym (remarkably simple given the frankly antiquated system), I have been going to Mere Green library and complaining to the staff there about their corrupted and inadequate stock. Look, you chiefs, I say to them, all I wanted was a book with a photograph of a horse in it. That’s all I wanted. This book, I say, appears to have had photographs of horses in it, but they have all been removed. What do you have to say about that? These charlatan librarians, these philistines, have so little of value to say that I won’t even waste time typing it out. Then I go home and look at all my photographs of horses and I have a bloody good laugh about it.

Length: 6:07 Played: 268

DENMARK The Raveonettes – “Breaking Into Cars” The Manager Says “After the trouncing we received in our opening fixture at the hands of Holland I have decided to change the entire starting 11. Much like the Little Mermaid which can be seen in our capital Copenhagen, football is a game of two halves and in our squad we have two styles. Last time we certainly embodied the fish half of this tenuous metaphor; flapping around on dry land. This time our play is smart and beautiful like the maid, and this will see us through to victory.”

Length: 3:08 Played: 280

Commentary Box Analysis Cameroon definitely playing for the full 90 minutes here, with a monster 6 minute track, they’ll be hopeful the good results for African teams continue here. Denmark have an interesting selection, last seen in the indie europa cup, will be interesting to see how the crowd take to it.

Result! Group C: England 2 Algeria 1: So-called “Groups of death” often seem to produce a series of cagey, unexciting matches, but not so this time. Algeria took the field brimming with confidence after their opening game victory but England tore into them with a sustained and high-tempo attack. It seemed all set for a 1-1 draw until a late goal for England won the game. Group C is now poised on a knife-edge. “This time the England manager has wisely left the grizzled veterans on the bench and encouraged the youngsters to spice things up with some tricky (sub)-continental moves.” “Massively cheered by the England comeback, but the Algerians might have the edge here. Wouldn’t be surprised to see a high-scoring draw.” “It looks as if group C is the GROUP OF BOSH :)” “I think the bhangra edges it, and its’ a clever formation we are unlikely to see from anyone else.” ”Algeria’s exciting play throughout and goalmouth bombardment around the halfway mark knocks the stuffing out of a youthful but somnambulant England side” “I like both tracks well enough, but I’m not sure the ALG one quite bears up under repeat listens whereas you’ve got to give ENG credit for their impressive turnaround in form.”

Coming Next Moving into group F we have Slovenia vs Paraguay, not one of the most highly anticipated ties, but there have been a lot of surprises so far, so who knows what the managers will have up their sleeves.

Voting on this match finishes at midnight on the 28th March.

NETHERLANDS: Diggy Dex ft. Eva de Roovere – “Slaap Lekker (Fantastig Toch)” The Manager Says: Some controversy possible here as we have co-opted substitute Eva from Belgium, but it’s not like she had any chance of making it on the big stage with them, and main man Diggy (er… main man Dex?) is undoubtedly Dutch. After the cautious approach to the first game paid massive dividends we’re not quite going Total Pop but are playing in a way that’s clearly full of confidence and having a great time. The title means “Sleep Well” and beyond that… no idea.

Length: 3:45 Played: 360

JAPAN: Shugo Tokamaru – “Parachute” The Manager Says: After a tough first match, both me and the team know that a big performance is needed. This has come from the deployment of our secret star player Shugo Tokamaru, with support coming from the many supporting layers that can be found in his music. Shugo has the ability to lull the opposition into a false sense of security, but the chorus, catchy hooks, and upbeat nature will soon tire them out.

Length: 3:04 Played: 287

Commentary Box Analysis Is this euro-rap’s debut in the tournament so far? Nice work from Eva here, keeping the ball moving from back to front in midfield whilst Diggy is full of running up and down the wings. Japan, on the other hand, go for a much more intricate set-up, redolent of the Cornelius line-up of the early 00s, although they do seem to be singing about bra shoes… Nicely contrasting tracks, but which will get the crowd up on their feet?

RESULT! Slovenia 1 USA 1. Very very close here and slovenia just miss out on the win, their centre forward blazing over the bar when it looked easier to score. “The first track is unqualifiedly good and I’d be on the dance floor the whole eight minutes, the second has potential but leans precipitously into that unfortunate hipster area that mistakes randomness for energy and hooks”, “I’m another one who’s not feeling a great “Hello!” from the front line, and the Slovenes are both relentless and subtly varied” “I don’t think anyone can really match the Americans on this infectious form” “Tough luck for SLO – that was terrifically banging and this was possibly the best heat yet”

Coming Next Danish hearts could be broken if they fail to beat Cameroon, it’s a real crunch match as we finish off the second round of matches in Group E…

Voting in this match closes at midnight on 25th March

GERMANY: Daisy Door and the Peter Thomas Sound Orchestra – “Oh, Oh, Ooh, Ei Ei Ei, Wo Immer Es Auch Sei” The Manager Says: After the scurrilous and incorrect suggestions that my last entry, Heinz, was in some way ‘not German’, I am going here with the much more Germanically-named Daisy Door (n.b. this, not Dor, appears to be the correct spelling despite what Amazon’s MP3 sales say) and the Peter Thomas Sound Orchestra. Oh, Oh, Ooh, Ei Ei Ei, Wo Immer Es Auch Sei is from Peter Scores: The Erotic World Of The Peter Thomas Sound Orchestra, and I am reliably informed that the 85-year-old Herr Thomas is the oldest entrant into the Cup so far.

Length: 2:40 Played: 376

SERBIA: Svetlana – “Nevaljala” The Manager Says: I’m rolling out the big guns now. There was a certain amount of controversy regarding the inclusion of Svetlana Raznatovic in the Serbian squad, what with her being the widow of notorious war criminal Arkan, but such a big name simply can’t be omitted. This is her 1997 hit, Nevaljala (Bad Girl), which was number 1 in Serbia for 17 weeks.

Length: 3:35 Played: 275

Commentary Box Analysis Route one stuff here from Serbia, whereas Germany go for something a bit, um, more unexpected, mixing it up in the midfield just when you think they’ve settled into a pattern. It’s an interesting tactic, but not sure how the crowd will feel about it…

RESULT: Greece 1 Nigeria 2 Despite a strong start the Nigerians couldn’t hold on to their early lead with the Greeks equalizing half way through the second half. It looked like that was it until the fourth official held up his board to show two minutes added on. The Nigerians poured forward, the ball was FIZZED into the mixer, bounced off six bodies, hit the crossbar and bounced right by the line and OH the assistant referee has given it! The greeks go, in their own winsome way, completely wild, surrounding the ref, but the goal stands. “The Greek track reminds me of seeing black and white footage of the great Europop Cup sides of the 50s and 60s – gorgeous, elegant passing, colossal shorts and well-kept hair, a slow trot around the field.” “Nigeria are definitely aiming to please the pop purists here. And when Kefee Obareki is on the mic, there are definitely goals in prospect.” “This is the sort of game you tell your grandkids you were in the stands for.”

Coming Next: Netherlands vs Japan. The Japanese know they have to raise their game against the well drilled Dutch side, who’ll be hoping two wins will be enough to see them escape the group stage.

And welcome back to Group D where the current leaders Ghana take on Australia, who’ll be looking for their first win to help them out of the group. A real contrast of styles here today…

Voting on this match finishes at midnight on the 24th March.

GHANA: Wulomai – “Jalelele” The Manager Says: After a comfortable victory over the Serbs, the Ghanaians know that they can secure qualification for the knockout stages with a win over Australia. But manager Ben Graham is wary of the threat posed by the Aussies, and has turned to the veterans in the squad, Wulomei, to try and keep things tight. Wulomei last represented Ghana in the 1970s, and after the death of founder member Naa Adei in 2007, the group re-recorded some of their biggest hits, including this, Jalelele. The gaffer will be hoping that their vast experience of international pop competition will be able to match whatever the Aussies throw at them.

Length: 3:38 Played: 331

AUSTRALIA: The Birthday Party – “Nick The Stripper” The Manager Says: After failing to return to Sydney with 3 points, the Australian press was not happy with the manager and wanted a change in strategy. Early scouting indicated that Ghana would be a tough opponent (and their lopsided victory over a very, very good Serbia team proves that point). However, we’re confident that some agressive play near the goal from striker Nick Cave and some top-notch defense from the horn section will ultimately be what lifts us past Ghana.

Length: 3:52 Played: 297

Commentary Box Analysis Unbelievable Jeff! Very surprised to see the Australians going for the very veteran striker up front in only their second match, but we also know that familiarity often breeds contempt in the voting public especially against such a smooth, well-drilled Ghanaian side as this (even if their manager has started referring to himself in the third person ;)). It’s a big risk, but will it pay off?

RESULT! Argentina 0, South Korea 1. Good victory here for the Koreans over a muscular and not untuneful Argentinian side and a bit of a shock for some pundits who thought this looked destined for the draw, but it’s still all to play for in this very tight group. “Korea [are] playing to their strengths here.” “I’m sure I shouldn’t like the Argentinian track as much as I do. It must be the wurlitzer quietly playing in the background?” “flawless play from the Koreans. “Flawless” doesn’t always win at this level, however, inspiration and dumb luck being crucial as well”

Coming up: Today’s delayed Germany Serbia match sees Serbia fighting to stay in the competition, can they beat the always solid Germans?

Voting for this match ends at midnight on 15 March.

FRANCE:  Françoiz Breut – “Si Tu Disais” The Manager Says: “One of those songs that feels on first listen as though it’s always existed somewhere, such is the ease with which Françoiz Breut – original stage name Françoiz Brrr – taps into a familiar strain of pensive, elegantly (re)strained melancholy. Taken from her (thoroughly excellent) 2000 sophomore album Vingt à trente mille jours.”

Length: 2:26 Played: 954

MEXICO:  Los Dug Dug’s – “Smog” The Manager Says:  ”In our first game we were very much playing to the crowd back home, and failed to ingratiate ourselves with the global audience that had tuned in for the opening salvo of the tournament. Now, with a pressing need to get points on the board, the changes have been rung, the big name players have been dropped, and a group of veterans from the Mexican league with little international experience have been called up. In spite of this, they play a forceful, compelling game, recognised the world over, and the management are confident that they won’t be over-awed by the occasion.”

Length: 3:16 Played: 949

Commentary Box Analysis: “Beguiling chamber pop from the French here, but will it have the skills to get past the muscle and the FLUTE of this pacy Mexico attack? This is the first real decider in PWC10, who will take it?”

Result! Brazil 0 North Korea 4 It’s like Ayresome Park against the Italians all over again Brian, but should we really be that surprised? Lord High Everything Else Mullah Resmat knows how to pick teams to impress the crowd. North Korea is going to go far in the tournament on this form. It’s just like watching Brazil! Except rubbish. Their performance is ridiculously good. They talked the talk, and they’re walking the walk. Acrobatic gracefulness and fluidity that is more than a match for the Brazilians’ somewhat oafish up-the-center tactics.

Coming up: Group B is tighter than a tight pudding, what will Argentina and South Korea have to lift them above the rest of the teams? I hand you over to my co-anchor (i said anchor) TimH…

We start the second round of matches with a scrap for group supremacy between South Africa and Uruguay. A win for either team here would almost guarantee them a place in the last sixteen, so Isabel and Jim will no doubt have been sweating over their seleção…

This match will end at midnight on March 14th* – for now, get voting.

*oops, gave you 8 days originally, will close on sunday night now

SOUTH AFRICA: Mapaputsi – “Izinja” The manager says – “Straight in and no messin’! Attack with men forward and leave “the dog”, our very tough defender, covering at the back.

Length: 4:13 Played: 430

URUGUAY: Opa – “Botija de me Pais” The manager says: With 3 points in the bag we can afford to be a little more experimental this time round, so here’s Opa. The intro is creepy and great – it makes me think of funky little goblins chanting in a cave. The song proper is a gorgeously smooth bit of nu-candombe, with a chorus which has a touch of the Bee Gees about it. But those goblins keep coming back, and the song really takes off when they storm the mountain in the last minute or two – the final 20 seconds are UNDERWORLD TRIUMPHANT! (Um, I’ve no idea what the words are really about, sorry)

Length: 5:25 Played: 378

Commentary Box Analysis: “Well Brian, two rather different tactics here, Uruguay are very laidback caressing the ball around not unlike a South American Steely Dan. But what’s that? Oh, even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch with the South Africans there.  Could easily go either way this one…”

RESULT: Cote D’Ivoire 3 Portugal 1: Well It looks like the Portuguese tactics didn’t quite pay off here as CIV power past them. This is stunning play from the Ivory Coast though, fast, fluent, powerful and incessant. Ivory Coast continually cut out passes, and after 25 shots in the general direction of the goal finally a couple go in. the sheer loose energy of it is ridiculously good. No contest; Côte d’Ivoire just mop the field with their competition, and this from a man who’d be rooting for Portugal any other day.

Coming up: France and Mexico are both desperate for a win to avoid elimination. Even at this early stage Pop World Cup faces its first decider.

Fabio Capello’s still somewhat limited English vocabulary may not yet incorporate the term “invidious position”

must have been the turning point where Fabio decided that he had to go. Not because of Ms Taylor herself, but, I think, because of the following piece of genius from Freaky Trigger’s very own Patron Saint of Sport, Lord Harry of Bassett:

Dave Bassett endorsed [Glenn] Roeder’s view that a Rubicon has been crossed. “The problem is John Terry’s a wrong-un. He’s masquerading as one of the chaps but he ain’t because this shouldn’t happen,” the former Wimbledon and Sheffield United manager said. “Of course you have players misbehaving when they’re married. But they aren’t doing it to a team-mate’s missus. That’s off bounds.

“It sticks in the throat. There’s an unwritten rule that you don’t start messing with players’ missuses. I’ve had players who have left their missus or had bits and pieces on the side but they’ve not gone off with a team-mate’s bird. That’s crossing a line and where it comes unstuck with Terry. I don’t recollect it in all my years in football.

Gawd Bless yer Harry!

The Trinity is the only pub outside Zone 1* on this list. That’s not to say that we are a bunch of central London fanatics, but it is where we pretty much all work and, therefore, where we’ve spent most evenings in the pub. I’d left the Exmouth by the time this stage in proceedings had been reached so I’m a little short on the main thrust of the arguments that got the Trinity this far up the list, but I can tell you about what I like about it:

It’s the nicest pub in Brixton

And when you’re faced with a three hour gap between the end of work and halfway through the second support at the Academy that’s all you can ask for really. Because it is the location of the Trinity, only a ten minute walk from the Brixton Academy that led it to being visited, never mind nominated. The only time I’ve been here and not gone on to a gig was when The Specials cancelled at half 5. But this is damning with faint praise, they do a cracking pint of Ordinary, the service is good, they serve big portions of decent food and have a nice beer garden out the back if you are some sort of beast of the field. Much like the Pineapple in Kentish Town it does seem to have become the haunt of A Certain Type Of Gig Goer, but then that’s maybe because I’m only going to Certain Types Of Gigs (and I freely admit to fitting the profile of the Certain Type)…

There was one night, just after the smoking ban came in (I’m thinking the night of the Carter gig?), when I arrived quite early (what? I was EXCITED!) to find that they’d replaced the carpet right through the pub and all you could smell was NEW CARPET, it was the weirdest thing, like drinking in Allied…

FancyAPint
Beer In The Evening
Randomness Guide to London

*sorry non-Londoners, but this includes you too. Although apart from the Three Goats Heads and the Turf in Oxford, the Windmill in Stansted Airport and the Brothers Bar at Glastonbury I can’t think of many non-London bouzers where a gang of FT contributors have been there at the same time. Oh, I suppose DBA in New York and the Small Bar in Chicago should get honourable mentions…

The thing that finally got me through the door was horse-racing.

Having lived in Cheltenham for seven years the excitement of the Gold Cup meeting in March had stayed with me, but I’d never found a pub in London that was that bothered about it. I think it must have been 2007 that I realised that the Newton was a racing pub (and with proper RacingUK pictures at that), and had my lunch late on the Tuesday to catch the Champion Hurdle and scope the pub out. What I found was a very friendly and courteous welcome from immaculately dressed barmen (white shirt and tie at all times) and Really Quite A Lot Of Freemasons which, given the area, is hardly surprising (and I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a stake in the place to be honest). I resolved to return on the Friday, and have now spent the last three Gold Cup days there.

It really is a cracking afternoon pub though, even when I’ve been sat on my own watching the racing, it doesn’t feel like you’re being looked at as some kind of weirdo. The fact that the last of their lunchtime punters don’t leave ’til about half two and the first of the knocking-off-early ones arrive at three helps I think. The lunchtime food is top notch too, Chris and I shared an awesome plate of bacon and chips (i know this shuold be boiled potatoes, but we fancied chips) and parsley sauce last year and they keep a decent pint of Adnams.

It does seem to be slightly obsessed with high stools and ledges rather than proper tables, but it’s a long way from being a Vertical Drinking Establishment. I know it’s an awful cliché, but you do get a real mix of people in over the course of an (afternoon and) evening (we have spent some evenings there as well!). Anyway, if anyone’s looking for me on Gold Cup afternoon (19th March next year), you know where to find me.

FancyAPint Link
BeerInTheEvening Link

Jay-Z Meets a Big Issue Seller outside Camden Town Tube

Of course (much like his famous glastonbury visit before he played), this isn’t the first time he’s been to NW1, and his last visit was a bit, how you say, problematical:

Jay-Z has spent too much time in the Good Mixer with Menswe@r and consquently bought some tacky weed paraphernalia, a tie-dye shirt and a big floppy hat from Camden Market.
Jay-Z thought he was getting a ticket to David Byrne’s Playing The Building, when actually he foolish agreed to actually Play The Building.
Jay-Z can’t walk up the flipping High Street as there are too many GOTHS in the way!
Jay-Z told Nas to text him when they’d agreed on a pub to meet in but he hasn’t.
Jay-Z forgot that the tube was exit-only on Sundays
Jay-Z is finding the drug-dealers outside Camden Town Tube a tad intimidating.
Jay-Z is disappointed that there are seemingly no Agatha Christie books in the charity shops along Mornington Crescent and thinks that Ma$e is five minutes ahead of him and snapping them up before he can get the chance.
Jay-Z has ended up in the World’s End and he’s having to stand up next to a really small table and he can’t hear what Nas and Kanye are talking about and he’s having to drink Stella.
The incense that Jay-Z bought from the Lock market is making him feel a bit… funny.
Jay-Z is trying to sell a promo copy of Blueprint 3 in the Music And Video Exchange and he hasn’t got any ID with his address on.
Jay-Z is concerned about the funny smell in the Dublin Castle.
Jay-Z is drinking by himself because the bouncers wouldn’t let Lil Wayne into the Underworld.
Jay-Z is flicking through the live bootleg tapes on the table infront of him, but can’t remember if he already has the one he wants on CD somewhere.
Jay-Z has lost Beyonce somewhere in the Lock Market and now he’s very confused and a bit teary and seems to have ended up in the stables
Jay-Z doesn’t want to eat in Wagamama AGAIN but that burger stall looks well dodgy.
Jay-Z has fallen in the canal.
Jay-Z is in a proper funk because he can’t decide which two flavours will go best together in the “two-scoop deal” at Marine Ices.
Jay-Z thought he was walking up to Camden Road overground station but has somehow gone round in a circle and is back at the World’s End AGAIN
Jay-Z is in the Spread Eagle and thinks Coxon ought to have got a round in by now.
Jay-Z is pouring out a 40 by the Camden Falcon
Jay-Z has arranged to meet Beyonce for a quiet pint, but the Enterprise is full of braying idiots going to see an old indie band at the Roundhouse and his phone battery has just died.
Jay-Z is disturbed by the noise levels in the Enterprise.
Jay-Z is sure the Wetherspoons was up here somewhere – he’ll just keep walking until he finds it.
Jay-Z can’t believe he has to walk all the way round the back of the market to get to the Morrisons.

A. very much in favour of the pub

B. quite partial to a festival every now and then

So, hey, what could POSSIBLY GO WRONG with Pub In The Park? I, I don’t really know where to start…

I know we’ve had our issues with the GBBF over the years, but at least you know where you are with it. It’s a very big room full of people drinking good, mainly UK produce and getting (nicely, socially, happily) drunk, and CAMRA, quite rightly, does little to hide this. PITP seems to be doing everything it can to get away from the idea that pubs are places of drinking, but rather places where karaoke, pool, darts and battle of the bands competitions are the most important thing, not welcoming places where Unorganised Fun is the key to a cracking night.

Given that there’s more space given over on the website to cocktail making than what beers they’ll have on (there is no link here for a reason), I’m a little confused by what they mean by “pub” anyway, and this list of Pub Cos and brewers and their endorsements doesn’t really help (not to mention that all bar two of the spokes are middle-age, white males. Good representation of the community, there, chaps). I mean, I know they’re speaking to the trade not to punters but really:

This initiative gives every operator the chance to engage with Pub in the Park and at the same time drive custom through the business.

really? It’s a bad state of affairs when the bloke from Mitchell & Butler sounds the most normal…

I understand why a trade event, where suppliers and publicans can meet and do business is a good idea, but I don’t understand why you’d want to open this up to the public, and, even worse charge EIGHTEEN POUNDS SEVENTY FIVE PENCE (or twice the cost of GBBF) and then make people buy tokens for food and drink rather than just letting them spend normal money. That seems to be really not what what The Pub is like at all…

So, I saw a (repeated) bbc four documentary about Jake maybe six months ago and then kept on entirely failing to search for his stuff, but then a friend linked to the above and I found an treasure trove of stuff on spotify (sorry Americans), and he is all kinds of awesome, jazzy and silly and slightly rude, but very british (and a bit 70s to be honest, as the above example shows). I’m not sure why he’s disappeared into obscurity, given that the doco showed him on many TV shows, and he seemed to have a fanbase of slightly alt comedians (i’m pretty certain the programme was made by Associated Rediffusion, ie Victor Lewis-Smith).