Posts from 11th January 2013

11
Jan 13

The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2012: #10-#1

FT8 comments • 1,087 views

harry stylesBoo-hoo! Sob! Hallo Readers, I’m Harry Styles, one of the One Directions, the X-Factor boyband sensations who are worse than both Rebecca Ferguson and Matt Cardle, as proven by phone-vote-science. And yes, I am weeping my heart out because my one true love (with a record to promote) has just broken up with me (in the middle of promoting a world tour). Yes, I loved Taylor Lautner and her kooky smiles SO MUCH that I even took her to the Beatrix Potter World Of Adventures, where we went on Mrs Tiggywinkle’s Teacup Ride, and I threw up in her hair. Swift! Sorry — I meant Taylor Swift. We did see Twilight Breaking Up, I mean Dawn, together though. However it is now ALL OVER and I am a sad global heartthrob indeed. Who will probably have a song written about me called “He Was A Selfish English Twot” or something. Feat Nicki Minaj.

Anyway when I get depressed and need cheering up, there is nothing better than looking at year end best of lists which are bound to feature me and my band! When reflecting in such glory I like to think of all the people who took the effort to vote, you may not know it, but you’re beautiful. Seriously, I don’t think you’re ugly even if everyone else says you are. So, here are the top ten FreakyTrigger tracks as voted by you! What do you mean we’re not in it? And Taylor Swift is? You’ll be telling me next that a track featuring people hitting dustbins made the top five…”

Thanks Harry, if that is indeed your real name. I am sad to say that you and your fellow One Directions only garnered one vote this year. But without further ado and without any more spoilers from Master Styles, here is the FT Top 10 of 2012…

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MANCHESTER UNITED FOOTBALL SQUAD – “Come On You Reds”

Popular77 comments • 5,755 views

#708, 21st May 1994

As a football-shunning nipper in the 80s it seemed to me that an FA Cup Final song barged its way into the charts every year, swayed through the top ten full of song like a beery fan on a train carriage, and was gone. And looking at this Wikipedia page – a memento to the rise and fall of the genre – I was basically right.

By the time I got to University, my terribly narrow social circles were broadening a little, and football was gentrifying a lot, so I had friends who bought FA cup records. The songs themselves were no better than they had ever been, often – to the extent that they sounded ‘up to date’ – quite a bit worse. But why should they improve? Who would it benefit? To criticise a club song for its music would be like criticising a souvenir scarf for its insulating properties. Cup Final songs were souvenirs, and maybe something to fuel your sense of belonging and anticipation in the lead-up – “belonging” being the emotion these bluff, comradely, incompetent things managed best and most often.

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