Posts from 10th August 2009

10
Aug 09

Brie de Melun, Persillé de Malzieu (Cheesy Lover 12 & 13)

FT + Pumpkin Publog1 comment • 686 views

Sorry, two unrepentantly good cheeses here; a squishy sweet old brie, and an intensely salty blue.

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WHAM! – “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”

FT + Popular78 comments • 8,707 views

#535, 2nd June 1984, video

“We play it in marching band camp. fun song. no sharps or flats! yay”: this YouTube comment nails “Wake Me Up”‘s enduring appeal – it’s a song full of communal, kinetic, shade-free positivity. This might be nauseating but isn’t, thanks mostly to George Michael’s dynamism and his gleeful joy in his own fast-developing gifts. He produced the song as well as wrote it, and keeps things simple, building a supple funk-pop groove from keyboard and bass and then letting his own forcefulness fill the space. Two-thirds through the horns come in and the record bursts into renewed life – that trumpet-and-drum break shunting the track up a level.

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Blockbuster Business Plans: Even Dafter

FT3 comments • 191 views

So I had enough to drink that going to see GI Joe: The Rise Of Cobra seemed like a good idea. And it was, bangs, ‘spolsions, comedy sidekicks to dull pretty boy action. All was present in this ridiculous live action remake of Team America: World Police. But even with my stout addled mind I wondered about the masterplan of the bad guy of the week, in this case played by Christopher Ecclestone doing a strange hybrid Glaswegian / Mancunian accent. He is an arms inventor and dealer who has developed some kind of nano-weapon that will go on to eat the Eiffel Tower in the clearest Team America nod in the movie. The plot appears to go something like this:

a) Sell weapons to the US government
b) Steal them back
c) Fail, steal them again – in the process infiltrating the base of deadly enemies.
d) Get husband of your evil sidekick to “weaponise” the weapons
e) Use on Paris
f) Try to use remaining three weapons to destroy Moscow, Washington and Beijing
g) Fail. Get caught
h) Replace President with “For he’s a jolly good fellow” whistlin’ master of disguise.

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It Finally Happened

FT1 comment • 208 views

One of my dreams last night apparently included the song “Ripple” by the Grateful Dead.

How do I know this?

Because I Googled the lyrics IN MY DREAM.

Yes.

And … every result was an incorrect transcription, or a different version of the song.

The only one I remember clearly included the line “Pre-war planning was made of war”, impressively on-point in both its accuracy and its earnest clunkiness. (Though being a folky kind of song to begin with you can’t fault someone for doing a political update of it.) Although it took some time to find, since it was halfway down a very long, very poorly-formatted page.

All of which went through my mind IN MY DREAM.

This painfully moronic experience does, however, raise some pressing questions:

1 – Has Google calculated how much revenue it is losing through untallied dream searches?

2 – Is there a plan in place to recoup it?

I think we should be told.