Posts from 20th February 2007

Feb 07

your own private quatre bras

FT + The Brown Wedge/15 comments • 3,108 views

“[John Thelwall] also had the misfortune to be a mediocre poet — a crime which, although it is committed around us every day — historians and critics cannot forgive.” —E.P.Thompson, The Making of the English Working Class*

It was called The Battle of Waterloo, and it was one of the plays offered by J. K. Green’s Juvenile Drama: in other words as sheets of figures to cut out, colour and deploy, on little slides, in a miniature proscenium theatre you’d built yourself, from paper or card on a wooden frame.

toy theatreA miniature proscenium theatre like this features as a prop in the classic 70s version of The Railway Children — one of them is bedridden, the others put on a show for her, and the show is Waterloo.** It also features in Robert Louis Stevenson’s famous 1884 essay ‘A Penny Plain and Twopence Coloured


Climates? CHANGE!

Do You See3 comments • 633 views

iklimertestbaharsnow.jpgOh when will I ever learn? Do not go and see films described as elegiac, expressionistic or downright slow at the Renoir. After a surprisingly tiring day at work, a film where nothing much happens for long stretches in a very comfy and dark cinema is clearly an error. And yet drifting in and out of the land of nod is often the best way to see a film like this.


Pork Maths = Sausage Shocker

FT + Pumpkin Publog1 comment • 808 views

As we all know the square root of sausage is square sauasge! But what I didn’t know until today that an alias of square sausage was “Lorne sausage”! It certainly doesn’t say that on the packaging of my square sausage – which is charmingly shaped just like a sliced loaf of sausage and produced by Belchers. Genuine Scottish Square Sausage, it advertises on the side. At least 21% pork! Oh, happy memories of my childhood, eating square sausage in my friend L’s kitchen with chips and beans.

WELL CLEARLY MY CHILDHOOD LIES because I had the square sossidge with scrambled eggs and peas the other night and it was unpleasant! Don’t say I have become a meat snob!!

Clearly I am the one to fault anyway because I didn’t have it with chips and beans and fried bread and black pudding and and and and I’m afraid I have to go away now. But if you want square sausage yourselves – MORRISSONS. And whilst you are in the freezer aisle why not also pick up some Mr Brainses faggots? CRUMBS I’m hungry today… still – 12 slices left to go!

Great News For All Our Readers

FT9 comments • 597 views

Sentimentalist: a new column by me, for Pitchfork Media. The first one talks about music hall, audiences and singers, and expands on a couple of ideas from the Beatles entries in Popular.