Posts from 7th December 2006

7
Dec 06

THE ADVERT CALENDAR OF ADVENT: 7: Burberry Smellies

Blog 7 + FT2 comments • 10,652 views

burberry-2.jpgAs a wee nipper, there was one thing which made my life a burden. Smellies as I called ’em. My mother liked her perfume, and the rest of us had to put up with this. She preferred brews with a strongish niff, and sprayed them on liberally. I remember getting splitting headaches as a child in the car sitting behind her, a headache that would only be properly identified fifteen years later with a brief poppers experiment. In my teen years I realised how smellies could actually save your bacon at Christmas (if make it smell less bacony). A smallish bottle of whatever your Mum fancied would normally be just in the price range for parental present, and was – unlike anything else I could have bought my Mum, clearly a present for her*. It was clearly not a present for the rest of us, who needed a paracetamol when she got trigger happy.

The Bible Of Badness: Old DEUTERONOMY

FT + I Hate Music15 comments • 2,192 views

Bible Of BadnessCats.

I hate Cats. I hate the Stray Cats, I hate the Pussycat Dolls, I hate the Love Cats by the Cure. But most of all I hate Cats the Musical. I hate Andrew Lloyd Webber, that is a given, but previously I cannot say I had been troubled by T.S.Eliot. But once his not very good poems were turned into lyrics, well suddenly the mans anagram made sense. This was toilets. Ironically the French word for Cat is Chat, pronounced Shat, which is exactly the process I imagine Richard Stilgoe and Lloyd-Webber’s music did to Eliot’s poetry. All over it.

Where am I gonna go? Ipswich?

Do You See + FT2 comments • 968 views

Dark Season castAwesome things about Dark Season!!

  • it was written by Russell “The” Davies on a tea break from scripting “Why Don’t You”!
  • It features fantastic theme music, which is suspenseful but yet never really goes anywhere, leaving you with the fear that you’ll never reach a happy coda, and you don’t quite know where the music started, but something feels strange – a lot like the score to Quatermass! SPOOKY!
  • It’s like the DEMON HEADMASTER AND THE PRIME MINISTER’S BRAIN! but with an unnerving mod version of Billy Idol called MR. ELDRITCH taking the place of the Headmaster!
  • Kate Winslet in the most unflattering pair of trousers EVER!
  • It was originally going to be called “The Adventurous Three”!
  • Devil worshipping lesbian NAZIS and a GIANT SUPERCOMPUTER called Beer MothBEHEMOTH!
  • Schoolteacher from THE LIKELY LADS in a JCB!
  • Marcy being a between Harriet the Spy and DOCTOR WHO!
  • And speaking of Doctor Who – Dark Season TOTALLY kicks Torchwood ARSE!
  • If you are a total trainspotter saddo you can spot loads of lines from Dark Season later re-used in Doctor Who, esp re getting stuck in corridors/ventilation shafts/trapped in vacuum sealed rooms etc etc causing much HILARIOUS LARFTER from yrs saddo truly chiz chiz.
  • Hooray for Dark Season!!

    Pub-A-Go-Round: The Marquis Of Cornwallis

    FT + Pumpkin Publog8 comments • 2,210 views

    When i first started working in Russell Square over ten years ago there was a local pub, near the Tube Station called the Marquis Of Cornwallis. It was dark, smoky but had a feel of permanence to it.

    Then it closed and god a major interior refit and became the Goose And Granite. Dirt cheap maybe, but of the sub-Wetherspoon chains proffering cheap food, cheap beer and lack of atmosphere, the Goose chain excelled primarily at the latter. Perhaps the thinking was to attract the local students (it did for a bit). Or the people living in the run-down Brunswick Centre (it did). A triumph then? (It wasn’t).