Posts from 30th January 2006

30
Jan 06

Who Needs Europa

Proven By SciencePost a comment • 449 views

When we’ve got our own alien lifeforms right here on Earth? Two enormous lakes have been discovered under the ice sheet that covers Antarctica. Since they were formed as a result of tectonic action rather than being scooped out by glaciers, they’ve probably been down there, laking it up, for millions of years.

And “down there” is really far down — more than 2 miles (3.5 km), so far that it’s warm enough to keep it all liquid.

No one has any idea what’s really down there. But speculation amongst English speakers in the know (i.e. research scientists at Columbia University, the University of New Hampshire and NASA) is that the lakes are probably home to some kind of “extremophiles” — organisms that always have to take things TO THE EXTREME.

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Smithswatch

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 1,136 views

Samuel Smith’s lager range in new twist!

OK in the good old days, now cruelly tooken from us, you had:

AYINGERBRAU = honest yeoman of lagers, man in a box.
PRINZ = vaguely spivvy premium effort with a blue stein.
D PILS = ‘ultra-premium’ 6% loopy juice.

Since the re-brand you now have new ranges:

ALPINE LAGER – this is Ayingerbrau as was, entirely unchanged.
SAM SMITH’S PURE BREWED LAGER – the new SS premium lager, with a big tall stein and special tall glasses. It is not very interestingly designed, to the point of me maybe getting its name wrong. Our best guess was that it is Prinz rebranded, and to be fair Prinz did need a rebrand. Nobody we knew ever drank Prinz so who can say.

And D Pils had vanished entirely, possibly for legal reasons. And that was that –

UNTIL FRIDAY when we noticed a third lager on display – “TADDY LAGER”. Its stein has an olde-tymey picture of some hops or barley or something, denoting its traditional Tadcaster methods. Was it D reincarnated? I craned to look at the ABV – 3 and a bit percent, definitely the weakest lager in the range.

(of course it could be D pils with 50% water added)

So Sams have used their BLOOD MONEY from murdering the fat man to splash out on a whole new brew – initial tasting by Mr Alan suggested that it is very unpleasant. We’ll be keeping our eye open for more own-brand folly from the Tadcaster Tyrants – watch this space.

SCIENTIFICKAL ADVICE: food storage division

Proven By SciencePost a comment • 300 views

imagine you have had many x ppl round one nice eve and served food and out the leftovers in the fridge in tupperware boxes and then went off to stay w.relatives for ten days at WOBs and came back and forgot abt the ANCIENT MUMMIFIED JELLY AND CREAM stored right at the back of the fridge and were anyway superbusy what with tax and a book deadline and a mag deadline and various new year things and you finally got round to it and trepidatiously OPENED THE BOX!!

i. DEAL WITH WHAT YOU FIND IMMEDIATELY however APPALLING, bcz otherwise
ii. THE MOULD SPORES WILL ESCAPE and set up a REVOLUTIONARY COLONIAL GOVERNMENT in OTHER REACHES OF THE FRIDGE