Posts from 10th December 2005

10
Dec 05

B-but, X is dead!?! Yes, they died 10 years ago… this very night!!!!

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(“He was an awfully big marine.”)

Here’s a sketch riffing on this standard ending to many urban legends from Lionel Nimrod’s Inexplicable World [1.1 MB mp3].

The 2nd and final series of Lee and Herring’s early radio show (marginally cleverer and funnier than Fist of Fun IMHO) also has a great ending itself that featured Tom Baker (as Lionel Nimrod) which is more appropriate nearer the top of the FT Top 13 Endings.

GUESS MY ENDING: grown-ups division

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Comment on (and identify) the following:

1: “The gun, [____] had finally convinced himself, was after all a dream.”

2: “Night is falling. On the first floor of the Hôtel Printania two windows have just lighted up. The yard of the New Station smells strongly of damp wood: tomorrow it will rain over [____].”

3: “Then I went back into the house and wrote, It is midnight. The rain is beating on the windows. It was not midnight, It was not raining.”

4: “On the way downtown I stopped at a bar and had a couple of scotches. They didn’t do me any good. All they did was make me think of [____], and I never saw her again.”

5: “Somewhere, very close, the laugh that wasn’t laughter.
“He never saw [_____} again.”

6: “‘Yes, dammit, I said “was”. The bitch is dead now.'”

7: “His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.”

8: “‘We’ll go there. We’ll live there.'”
“‘We’ll fish there. And you too.'”

9: “We can only learn so much and live.”