Posts from 1st August 2005

1
Aug 05

Lowdown Thunder

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Haysi Fantayzee – “John Wayne Is Big Leggy”

This MP3 has been prepared especially for The Lex of ILX, who it turns out has never heard of John Wayne. Mr Wayne is famous for making cowboy films but he’s surely more famous as the subject of this clattering slice of dress-up pop from the early 80s.

I’m going to be in France for two weeks now. When out there I intend to get a chunk of Popular written, so fingers crossed for it to return in mid-August.

Black Is Black

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I want my baby back.

But what if Black isn’t Black? You probably don’t get your baby.

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you the blackest black there is. SUPERBLACK. How black is this black? Very. It is 2% blacker than Black Paint, and 0.15 blacker than Gold Black previously the blackest black you can get.

Probably not as black as a black hole though.

Dates for your diary

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That Crazy Frog thing Mark S is talking about below can be found here. Nim nim.

Did we mention that POPTIMISM is back? On August 19th? Downstairs@The Polar Bear on Lisle St, 1 min walk from Leicester Square tube, playing pop music, 7 till lateish, £2 entry, free gifts on the door? Did we mention that it’ll be back AGAIN on September 16th and October 14th? Did we mention that the one, the only Jerry T. Nipper would be guest-setting? You know, I don’t think we did.

Here are some things I fancy playing at Poptimism:

Klymaxx – “Meeting In The Ladies Room”
Sin With Sebastian – “Shut Up And Sleep With Me”
Zig and Zag – “Dem Girls Dem Girls”
Robyn – “Konichiwa Bitches”
Schnappi Italo Mix
Uniting Nations – “You And Me”
Leila K – “Ca Plane Pour Moi”
Girls Aloud – “Long Hot Summer”
Hue And Cry – “Labour Of Love”

Having put you off like that, I probably won’t play any of them.

He’ll be like a new signing for us

TMFDPost a comment • 199 views

And so we come to one of my favourite times of year as a football neutral: the Season Previews. Full of things I’m a sucker for: paper-thin analysis, inexplicable predictions, wild optimism, bogus claims. Of course reading one in a sitting is almost impossible: the best-written is probably When Saturday Comes‘s, which tends to recruit a selection of cynical and plain-spoken fans, and even their mordancy gets stale over 96 teams. Four Four Two gives us glossy banality and the most starry-eyed fans, The Guardian will be more pre-occupied with comparing teams to biscuits or film stars. But none of them are publications to curl up with and savour.

No, they release their pleasures more slowly: the bittersweet joy of the Season Preview is in the gradual unravelling of well-laid plans, the occasional puncturing of hubris (Which team do you most want to beat this season? Whoever we draw in the Champions League final.”) and the even more occasional defiance of well-founded pessimism. Keep one or two in your bathroom and they allow you to wallow in sweet hindsight whenever you like. This year’s are likely to be especially poignant – the Everton example means that more sides than ever are daring to dream and words like “European places” are cropping up all over.

(All of this is a long way of saying that if someone could save me a copy of the Guardian one next Monday I’d be very grateful – ta!)

Tim Story by name, Not by nature

Do You SeePost a comment • 373 views

As promised here: what is the Fantastic Four like as a film? Judged on its cinematic merits, it is pretty rubbish. It is a real flash back to the hey-day of lousy action movies (1990’s) where special effects ruled the roost and films were judged on explosions per square inch. There is absolutely no flair (except the Human Torch) in these special effects, which are competent rather than jaw dropping. Director Tim Story (aptly named for his dislike of well thought out narrative) may well have been chosen for his abilities with actors instead, though on this material it is hard to see why. Most things are framed badly, the climax is short and uninspiring and nearly incomprehensible. As a piece of cinema it stinks.

As a summer action movie its strongest point is the nostalgia value for those angst free, rubbish action movies. The fact that the villain has no character motivation at all is, this summer at least, a novelty. The film is an entertaining slice of hokum, made all the more hokey by its flaws. I agree with Tom’s assessment of it as entertainment, but am also happy to say it is a rubbish film.

Lambrini News

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 1,652 views

In Sainsbury’s the other day I noticed that Lambrini had a special offer on, and was now 99p a bottle. That’s ninety-nine pence for 750ml of 7.5% booze – the same price as Tennants or Spesh, only slightly weaker and 50% larger. Risky pricing for the giggly perry brand, this – already in trouble for encouraging binge drinking, the last thing Lambrini wants is to become the drink of choice for the alternative street drinker. But that could never happen – or could it? Yesterday in my local off-license I stood behind a toothless and dishevelled individual who I visually and nasally pegged as a knight of the road. Imagine my surprise when what this person bought was the hugest bottle of Lambrini I had ever seen. As he pocketed change from his grimy fiver and reeled out into the Tooting night I wondered what those dear Lambrini Girls would make of it all…