Posts from 21st June 2005

Jun 05

Different blog, same theme

The Brown WedgePost a comment • 306 views

In this month of piss, I am happy to see that even the BBC is helping us out. This thought provoking piece on the same of a number of paintings done by chimps has the wonderful sub-heading Piss Paintings.

Thought provoking, because art is seen to be a human product and pastime, and one wonders to what extent these paintings are actually conscious artistic efforts. Or at least one might, if they weren’t so good. The second one on the BBC page is a startling piece, clearly about what a twat Desmond Morris is, and showing the barely suppressed rage of an ape with paint on his hands. Controversial in 1957, passe now (though any current artist doing a similar thing would probably claim copyright over the apes).

The piss paintings were unfortunately done by Andy Warhol, who was not to my knowledge a chimpanzee and therefore barely fits in the article.

DAY 39: Kansas City

I Hate MusicPost a comment • 267 views

We rolled into Kansas City at the break of dawn, dog tired and in need of succor. What that really means in this context is I let Crispian kip in the boot whilst I went out looking for a liquor store that would sell me same badly needed gin. Unfortunately 6:30 in the morning is not a prime gin buying time in Kansas. Indeed whilst the town was buzzing, there seemed far too many horse and carts for my liking. Not to mention cars which looked as if they had come straight out of a museum.

As I wandered back to the car I hoped that we had not accidentally stumbled into some sort of time warp. Okay a wee bit of time travel might actually help our circumnavigation which had seemed to get a touch bogged down in the USA. But going back 100 years, as much of the clothing suggested, would be awful inconvenient. It is difficult to win a bet before it has been made.

I roused Crispian after his mammoth sleep and get him to do some investigations, and maybe find a doctor for his wounds. He came back with a worried look on his face.
“Everything a bit backwards here,” he said.
“Really. In what way.”
He raised his arms and showed me a couple of leeches which had been applied.

I really could not handle another adventure straying from Jules Verne’s initial templates, and was very tempted to drive right out of there. Then a thought crossed my mind.

“Crispian. Is there a bank in town?”
After all, if this town was a hundred years in the past, my money was suddenly worth an awful lot more than it was in New York.


So apparently everything’s up to date in Kansas City. They’ve gone about as far as they could go. Well, one things for sure they have tried their hardest as a city not to be in Oklahoma, which makes sense after the appalling musical named after that state rocked up. Oh What A Beautiful Morning? Only for deaf people.

Initially of course Kansas City starts off as a little comedy number that shows the country bumpkins up. Look they have seven storey buildings, look they have cars. Look, there is someone on a gas powered organ KILL HIM KILL HIM. It is patronising to hard working country folk, and about as funny as discovering a rat in your kitchen. But even this mild form of humour was not enough for Mssr Rodgers & Hammerstein (the Leopold & Loeb of the musical world). Nope, then they have to fit in a verse about a stripper. Who, predictably in this songs world, goes about as fur as she could go (obvious comedy accent inflection intact).

Well I would like to tell Rodger and Hammerstein a little bit about going about as fur as you can go. I once found a copy of the Oklahoma Original Soundtrack in a second hand record shop. I stole it, running down the street and jumping on a bus. On the way I broke the record into four similar sized pieces. When I got to the end of the line I found a small carpentry shop which allowed me to use its angle grinder. I ground down those four pieces into fine powder and pissed on them for good measure. After being left in the sun for five days, having flies copulate on them, I gather the fine dust and mixed it with gunpowder. This I inserted into a Black Cat rocket firework, lit the blue touchpaper and retired, and what was left of this record showered over the Buckinghamshire countryside.

Now that’s what I call going about as far as you can go. Apart from what I did to South Pacific.

Extra Special Atommickbrane Birthday Post

Do You SeePost a comment • 274 views

I found this on the f1l3-sh4r1n9 gizmo last night and knew at once that it had to be shared with the readers of Do You See? (MP3 file, approx. 4MB)

I believe it dates from 1996.

The Madchester Murders

Do You SeePost a comment • 658 views

Not going to add anything to the various mentions of Batman Begins round here but rather to confirm an interesting casting choice. Mr Zsaz, a relatively minor member of Batman’s rogue gallery, whose ginnick is killing people and cutting himself (from a more sophisticated psychological era that The Riddler say) is the first real “Batman” villain who turns up in BB. It is, like many things in the film, a nice wink to the fans. But what is even nicer in some ways is that this almost wordless turn is played by Tim Booth out of James. He is in complete Michael Stipe mode: Bald, serial killer beard. But those eyes reek the same sort of malevolence as they always did when he was singing Come Home. Sit Down next to you? Not likely you scary serial killer.

(Item two to note is that the Blogger’s spellcheck wants to turn Batman into Bateman: DO YOU SEE! Well yes, and so has everyone else.)