Posts from 8th June 2005

8
Jun 05

The Flying Lizards – Get Up (I Feel Like Being A Sex Machine)

FT + New York London Paris MunichPost a comment • 1,188 views

The Flying Lizards – Get Up (I Feel Like Being A Sex Machine)”

The first time I heard this I thought it was terrible. It seemed to be an arch version which focussed on the inanity of “Sex Machine”‘s lyrics, i.e. staggeringly misguided.

But hearing it a couple of other times I realised how closely the cover mapped the sound-world of the original. James Brown’s 60s records have been described sometimes in terms of blueprints – frameworks for a new music and the fullest realisation of that music, all at once. This is a blueprint of a blueprint – a record run through some kind of structual analyser, rebuilt with care and detail but a conscious absence of soul.

It reminds me that cover versions needn’t be better than the originals – this isn’t – or even aspire to be. It also reminds me that being ‘respectful’ to an original needn’t mean copying it.

Piss off, progress

Proven By SciencePost a comment • 173 views

During the 3 years in which I did not shave the science of razors appears to have advanced by leaps and bounds. I don’t believe I ever used the amazing 3-bladed Mach 3 razors and certainly back in the day we never had the remarkable and TOTALLY UNPREDICTABLE monument to progress that is the four-bladed Quattro razor. Where do they get their ideas eh??

The adverts for these multi-bladed beasts show the blade in stately progress across the chin, giving the death of a thousand (or three) cuts to the recalcitrant hairs ensuring the smoothest shave evah. What they don’t show is the bastard blades taking half your skin with it. My face this morning after its first encounter with a Mach 3 was a mask of tatters and blood – to be fair on the tiny patches of intact skin the hairs had indeed been beaten back. We had to destroy the village in order to save it, don’t you know? If I’d used the Quattro I think I’d be reduced now to a nose and one dangling eye.

Proven By Science calls on so-called R&D departments to STOP THE MADNESS before the inevitable 5-bladed razor appears. This is basic product testing good sense – a product that innovates is not the same as a product that the public will actually enjoy. PS Shaving sucks.

Filthy, dirty and wrong

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 658 views

Jonesing for the disgustingly delicious guilty pleasure of a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup? Too cheap to buy them/in a location where they are less than freely available? Why not try the lovely Nigella Lawson‘s recipe for arterial disaster? I did and now I feel bad and good in equal measure.

Method:
Mix peanut butter with real butter and far too much sugar, pack into tin and press down firmly. Pour melted chocolate over the top. When set, cut into bits. Fill face. Feel slightly sick.

Has anyone else made versions of commercially-produced sweets at home? People who make their own toffee and risk full-body sugar burns? It seems somehow quaint and Victorian (not to mention dangerous), and almost wholesome considering the large quantities of sugar, butter and cream normally involved in this kind of thing.

Anyway, seriously, if you like peanut butter and chocolate, do it. Don’t eat them too close to bedtime, or the sugar content will send you through the roof and prevent you getting to sleep for ages, so you’ll just lie there feeling guilty about being a lardy pig.