Posts from 24th November 2004

Nov 04

Senses of shame: JAMELIA – “See It In A Boy’s Eyes”

I Hate MusicPost a comment • 961 views

I always wonder if Jamelia’s mum was a messy eater and hence her birth certificate accident. Or perhaps it was one of those cases where the mum really wanted a kid called James. Whatever, the Jam type Amelia reckons you can See It In A Boys Eyes. What is it you can see?

Well if the boys are like any I have ever met you can generally see an overwhelming lack of intelligence. The pupils in boys eyes, when not obscured by flopping dronerock fringes, are like bottomless pits of idiocy. That is what I can see in a boys eyes.

What Jamelia sees is the reaction from a man friend who only ever criticises her. Now as a card carrying feminist (the card is an AA Home Start card, which is six year out of date but…) I can sympathise. Blokes are always criticizing me for not liking their Jesus and Mary Chain records, or dancing along to Basement Jaxx. But where my sisterhood with shirt skirt Jamelia ends is that the criticism of me is not justified. Whereas her boyfriend moaning about her music is completely justified what with her being crap. Sure you can see it in a boys eyes, but surely she could see it in the eyes of everyone on Top Of The Pops.


Do You SeePost a comment • 884 views


Think of films whose lead chararcters have bands named after them. Duran Duran – a character in Barberella – were enormously successful. Travis have been successful despite being piss poor*. And now look at the mighty McFly, with their Busted! from the sixties ideas. They are mighty popular, though seem to bear no real relation to the Back To The Future franchise that spawned their name. Except they are the same age as the teen that Michael J.Fox played in said trilogy, and he played guitar. Could he have been in McFly? Well McFly have not made a song which sounds like Huey Lewis And The News yet, but it may just be a matter of time.

Like all good old sci-fi films, the kewl science already looks ridiculously dated. The Delorean is stupid, the flaming tire tracks seem remarkably old hat. And yet the plot device of someone literally fading away gives BTTF its tension. That said the idea that if his parents met at a particular time he might be born without a hand makes little to no sense. But then any film where the leads ends up racing a car through a vicious lightning storm with a mini-nuclear reactor in the back of a car is not necessarily one which takes too much pride in its plot mechanics.

A summer popcorn film which had its product placement up square and central, it is also one which had its franchise door left open at the end. And yet the ending of Back To The Future feels nicely closed to me. The “Look, there are more adventures” excitement need not be actually fulfilled. And the sequels do let the piece down. Not desinged as a trilogy (HELLO THE MATRIX) it fell into repetition, cute in jokes and a Western that no-one really wanted to see (though 3 is certainly the sweetest of the films). There are plenty of people who have still not recovered from seeing MJF dragged up as his own daughter whilst also being aged with terrible prosthetic make-up in the same shot. BTTF2 also paints a remarkably vapid future, which lives up to the idea that every era gets the dystopian future it deserves. And those hoverboards and Jaws 13 are only a few years off, so lets get consuming.

* There is some argument about whether Travis are named after Travis Bickle from over-rated Taxi Driver or Travis the intergalactic assassin from Blake’s 7. The Freaky Trigger opinion is very much leaning towards the latter.


Blog 7Post a comment • 989 views


back in the 19th-century anthropologists and other colonial social scientists made studies of the various native societies and cultures that imperialism was smashing: religions which revolved round animism and the fetish object and lots and lots of little godlets were rarely if ever given a clean bill of health

ok well i wz killing time yesterday and i popped into forbidden planet to wander round the toys’N’figurettes franchise section and BLIMEY!! if we haven’t been cursed w.lots and lots and LOTS AND LOTS of lovingly fashioned little godlet statuines ourselves – i guess the dying words of some name-unknown witch-doctor have come home to roost for we are surely all doomed and serve us right!! Anyway here courtesy kidrobot is yr LITTLE ANDY WARHOL IDOL (60s model)

Post idea 2:

Do You SeePost a comment • 366 views

Post idea 2: Old film mags had a local-paper quality lost among the glossies: a regular lament was the infelicities of NFT programming. So my two cents is: why seemingly every ruddy film ever made by George Cukor and a very incomplete selection of Lindsay Anderson? I’m not knocking Cukor, but just because he directed some fine films doesn’t mean anyone needs to see all he did. It is, to use an old saw, the National Film Theatre, and Anderson launched a major post-war film cycle at the NFT. Some gratitude. And the time slots suck too.

Post idea 1: Waaah, I’m going to miss ‘The White Bus’ (1967) tonight.

Most Expensive Piece of Toast Ever.

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 474 views

Most Expensive Piece of Toast Ever.

Questions this article raises:
a) Toast clearly does not go mouldy!
b) AMerican cheese really is indestructible.
c) From her depiction on this sandwich the Virgin Mary clearly had elephantisis (it may explain her virginal state). Who knew!

More comparisons:

The Brown WedgePost a comment • 418 views

More comparisons:

Boris Akunin’s The Winter Queen has been called a Russian version of an Ian Fleming book. Sure it is full of restless adventure clich’s but actually the book is far closer to John Buchan’s style of derring do*. The Fleming reference only comes in at the last chapter, where the spurned and thwarted villain exacts revenge on the hero Fandorin in a manner similar to On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. It is not as affecting as Bond’s tragedy though, as the young lady in question seems to have been shoe-horned into the last few chapters merely to (at first sight) give the hero a happy ending and then (on second sight) to give him a tragedy. It is a bit unfortunate because the rest of the book had been a rather good fun romp.

The book also suffers when the villain’s masterplan is revealed: not only is it a good plan, but actually does not seem to be in any way dastardly. I felt sorry for the villain, which I suppose is why we needed the final act to mark them off as actually evil. Unfortunately in books we don’t get Louis Armstrong singing “We Have All The Time In The World”. Just an introductory paragraph to Akunin’s next book Leviathan (which riffs on Agatha Christie, apparently).

*And surely, if we are looking at this stuff stylistically, there is probably a pair of translators involved before any direct claims of plagarism are even considered.

Carrie Fisher Roy Scheider Alan Cumming Spike Lee Sean Astin Verne Troyer Patrick Swayze

Do You SeePost a comment • 247 views

Carrie Fisher
Roy Scheider
Alan Cumming
Spike Lee
Sean Astin
Verne Troyer
Patrick Swayze

The big question is, who will be next. Predictions here (comments box) and we can see who is right when the next new Orange Film Commission ad comes out (the New Year I guess). Unlike any other pre-film ad which gets show again and again, there is something about these ads which have never annoyed. Admittedly hearing people laugh at the two months after they have debuted (and on my fiftieth viewing) can irritate, but managing to both be direct, funny and to the point is a rare quality these days.

A secondary question, which of the films pitched would you actually like to see (Swayze’s Silent Hunter is particularly wide-eyed and crazy).


The Brown WedgePost a comment • 385 views


rainy just emailed me this link – it is self-explanatory (or maybe the other one)