Posts from 19th July 2004

Jul 04

Me Hearties

FT + New York London Paris MunichPost a comment • 148 views

Me Hearties

Songs I acquired at the weekend; a selection.

SHEILA AND B DEVOTION – “Cover Girls”: from an album by the people who did “Spacer”, picked as usual for a promising title. Vigorous disco-rock crossover with a good chorus and some tart lyrics – but a bit slow and the thickness of the Euro-accent is a bit much even for me.

ALCAZAR – “Seasons In The Sun”: on paper a masterpiece, in practise just ‘quite entertaining’ if I’m being honest.

ROB N RAZ ft LEILA K – “Rok The Nation”: follow-up to the AWESOME “Got To Get” – scando-rap with a ‘jazzy inflection’, features the line “mean like S & M bondage”. Passable.

AFRICA BUSINESS – “In Zaire Business”: Utah Saints style stomper with no connection at all to African music past present or future except some beefy men chanting “In Zaire in Zaire”. More Germanic rap. Features ‘woo! yeah!’ sample as used by Bombalurina (and 10,000 others). Strangely likeable.

DR ALBAN – “Let The Beat Go On”: Dr Alban always delivers. “Choosing BPM is a big problem”, he says, “Make up your mind before it is too late – confidence is the key to choose”. Useful advice to all budding producers. At some point though he stops talking about BPMs and starts worrying about hooligans.

LILY AND SUSSIE – “Girl With A Broken Heart (Action Mix)”: Seem to have had a line in SAW copyisms, a style of pop production that’s pretty drab unless the songs are excellent (theirs weren’t). This though mixes that fluffy uptempo feel with a more drawn-out 80s disco influence, and sounds intriguingly like the Hit Factory getting a Pet Shop Boys 12″ remix. It doesn’t quite gel but it’s pretty good.

(There’s plenty more where this came from. Interested?)


Do You SeePost a comment • 2,716 views

FREAKY TRIGGER NEEDS YOU: attention!!! This Friday, your Humble Author will be attending the Big Brother live eviction!! Your Humble Author intends to take a banner and get their ugly mug on the goggle box.  But readers!! I have no imagination and therefore have NO IDEA what to put on the banner!!
Therefore… we need your help!!! Suggestions via the comment box please – and if there’s LOADS of grebt suggestions I will run a poll!!
Suggestions already recieved: “kill them all, let god decide” and “we’re live on channel four, please do not say f#ck or b#gger”. MORE MORE MORE!

Songs about or by puppets #1: Fuzzbox – “International Rescue”

I Hate MusicPost a comment • 944 views

Walking down the street on the way to the pub the other day, I notice a big poster for an upcoming Thunderbirds film. As a youth I rather enjoyed the works of Gerry Anderson, theme-tunes notwithstanding, I found his childish simplicity and vision of a better world (of rockets) to be rather beguiling. A further examination of this poster however revealed that
a) This film was live action
b) Started a kid who looked like he was in Busted!
c) Had a theme-tune by Busted!
A shiver went down my spine as this fact opened a hitherto closed closet in my mind. As far as I was concerned Thunderbirds already had a thoroughly wretched theme tune already. Not only that but if they wanted a pop version, there was an equally terrible song from the eighties by Fuzzbox. Which fit in the category of songs about puppets – a short feature which hopefully will count as some form of therapy.
So International Rescue then. By Fuzzbox. Formerly We’ve Got A Fuzzbox And We’re Gonna Use It. Formerly We Haven’t Got A Fuzzbox Yet But People Say If We Get One It Might Go Some Way To DIstracting The Listener From Out Piss-Poor Singing And Songs. Formerly Class 5B at Dudley Grammar.
Fuzzbox went POP with International Rescue, a song about a fictional rescue operation. Ironically it was the listeners rather than Fuzzbox themselves who needed rescuing, the song being a tuneless repetitive dirge, wher ethe previous indie as fuck Fuzzbox tried to sell records by showing they were pretty girls. As it happened they weren’t all that pretty and their silly hair put people off. The reason International Rescue was a hit therefore can be put down to the fact that the girls all wore hats when performing it. Like the Thunderbirds. Which did bring up the horrifying idea that if a giant bridge collapsed, rather than the Tracy brothers swooping it save you, four Brummie musicians would be in charge. We’ve Got Thunderbird Two And We’re Gonna Use It. Whoops, just dropped the middle section on the bridge, accidentally killing everyone. This is assuming that as an ultra secret rescue organisation, Fuzzbox would be as competant as they were musicians. You exile them to Thunderbird 5 and send them spinning into the sun for all I care.

Bringing pride back to African restaurants: ladies and gentlemen I give you the African Kitchen Gallery.

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 292 views

Bringing pride back to African restaurants: ladies and gentlemen I give you the African Kitchen Gallery. After our appalling service in Addis a couple of weeks ago (as recounted here, here and here) it is nice to find a restaurant where service is everything. The African Kitchen Gallery sticks out on Drummond Street, behind Euston, a street mainly known for its curry houses (especially vegetarian ones). The AKG is a tiny restaurant cum gallery which plys African and Caribbean stews to what hopes to be a greedily loyal public. The food is interesting, and well flavoured, even if the whole thing is clearly microwaved infront of our eyes (two very swish microwaves in the corner of the restaurant are on the go constantly). But the service is what I will be going back for.
When we entered it looked like the place was empty. If it wasn’t for the wine glasses on the tables it would be unclear if this was a restaurant at all. The place has thirteen covers if you count the two tables outside, and the only other commercial venture I have seen which rivals it in tinyness are the bars in Bilbao. Then as if by magic, our waiter appeared. He seated us, gave us the menu (which looked very tempting) and took us through a few of the things that were on. As it was mainly stews he indicated to the chiller cabinet where all these preprepared stews were happily gaining more flavour by the minute. He saw we were a bit overwhelmed as newcomers, and made us a platter of all the starters, to start. He also suggested we nip over to the offie as he was not licenced. No corkage, ace.
Starters were all interesting, served with two very nice dipping sauces whose flavours we had a brief chat with the waiter about. You could tell he loved his food, and he could tell that we liked to talk about it. We went for the meaty options in the end (though the fishy stuff looked good). The food was good. Perhaps the cuts of meat were a bit scrag endy, but these were really cheap stews – best made with scrag. My Oxtail was nice anyhoo, meat falling off the bone.
The bill came to ’40 for four, starter, main and a free set of coconut/mango and orange balls which were really tasty. The waiter was disappointed to see us go, but we assured him he would see us soon. (I may go back today!) Rest assured he got a generous tip. Not a place to go with a big group (it only has one table for four, the rest are two and threes) a great place if you are in the Euston area and fancy having something tasty that you can talk about. However if you don’t like African masks, it might disconcert you (one assumes that their big payday comes from selling the art rather than the food). Food was good, but the service made it so much better. 

I am never drinking any cocktail EVER AGAIN

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 340 views

I am never drinking any cocktail EVER AGAIN, (hem hem),  which isn’t listed on Yes, that means NO MORE PUBS “own-brew” cocktails, YES that means YOU, The Ben Crouch. No more random “blue” stuff for me! Remember your house parties, when you were still “The Kids”? Remember your cheap cartons of orange juice from The Shop and your tonnes of ice to bulk up your pitchers? Remember the haphazard pouring of whatever you found on the booze table? THAT’S Ben Crouch cocktails for yer! Aw man! Of course I deserve all I get, but that’s not the point, is it?

THE POINT IS this would never happen with a French 75 or a Kir Royale.

Clearly this is clearly the worst drink EVER:

Harakiri shot
Ingredients:2 cl Ouzo
 2 cl Tabasco sauce
Mixing instructions:Mix the ingredients in a shot glass, serve with a pint of beer on the side.

I mean why not just drink Domestos?
Morning all.