17 February 2004

It is lucky that Its All About Love is called Its All About Love,

It is lucky that Its All About Love is called Its All About Love, because if it wasn’t called Its All About Love you might be tempted to ask “What’s it all about”. No, that is too glib. A film which has benefited from the adverse advance publicity with reviews calling it preposterous, pretentious and stupid are red rag to a bull like me. Since preposterousness is generally a good thing, pretentiousness can be positive and stupidity is frankly the secret to a film like Dude, Where’s My Car – I was happy. And with the oddly stilted accents, the lack of scientific rigour and the elliptical screenplay was actually really enjoyable.

It is possibly the best Phillip K.Dick film made since Cypher. And since neither were based on actual Dick books that seems like a slur on Phil K. But what this, and Cypher, recognized was that a good sci-fi conceit is most interesting when dealt with as an aside almost. Get the characters and emotions right and you don’t need decent special effects. (This does have decent effects by the way, but it could have got away without). There is more than a degree of obtuseness obscuring the action, though anyone looking for Lynchian non sequituers will be disappointed. It is actually rather sweet. The Sean Penn monologues are stupid, the Hitchcock moments don’t convince but there are strong central performances and the whole thing hits the warped dislocated feel it quite clearly is aiming about., It is not really all about love, its actually all about 11 minutes.


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KEEP YOUR HAND ON YOUR GUN

KEEP YOUR HAND ON YOUR GUN

So what’s so all-fired ESSENTIAL about ESSENTIAL PUNISHER?? Hmmmm?

Well, for a start, it proves that comparing Gerry Conway and Garth Ennis is like comparing Willard Price to Ernest Hemingway. Funnybook folklore has it that the redoubtable Conway got mugged on the way home and instantly concieved a brand of JUST DEATH for the evil criminal, clad in groovy disco boots and a skull of fear. I’ve got to put the lie to this myth – judging by the ESSENTIAL ETC. the Punisher was based on Conway suddenly finding himself putting a bullet through the head of a mob boss and deciding to fill the comics world with as much non-lethality as he could muster. Punish-Lad quickly segues into the world of hem-hem ‘mercy bullets’ (“Stun shot!” as Dredd would scream as he blew a hole through a perp’s eggshell skull) while still referring to the amazing Spiderman as ‘my friend’ in between attempting to blast his weasly head off for CRIME. Because Spiderman as all readers know is a BIG CRIMINAL. Well eh wot I mean to say wot? Annoyingly the J Jonah Jameson subplots that we don’t get to see are more interesting than the Murderous Mr P’s continued backstory.

Finally Frank Miller decides to write him with a bit of zap as a proper baddie and has him shoot a CHILD yes a CHILD a CHILD for the enemy use CHILDREN now CHILDREN I DID MY DUTY BY BLOWING THAT FIVE-YEAR-OLD’S HEAD CLEAN OFF howls the Punishment Beast. Hmm, very subtle thinks Mr Miller but it is not enough for the next writer. Bring on Bill Mantlo and suddenly it’s all DIE JAYWALKER DIE, LITTERING IS A CRIME AGAINST SOCIETY etc etc etc. (The entirity of Britain stifles a yawn as 2000AD does all of this subtler, exciting-er and with better artwork… even compared to Bellardinelli… I don’t want to say that whoever Frank Springer is he can’t draw a human face but needs must…)

But wait! The Mad Mad Punisher was merely on mad mad DRUGS he is as sane as a lamb! He is so sane he goes on a boring five-issue spree in which he starts, stops, starts and stops again a MOB WAR and also begins using the short, punchy think-captions we know and love today. And so we come FULL CIRCLE except if you want a decent Punisher story you’ll have to wait god knows how many years… which is why adverts for four – count’em – Punisher trades, all by Garth Ennis, are waiting – complete with Amazon-friendly ISBNs – for you to BUY on the front inside cover!

GO FRANK GO!!!


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