Posts from 12th February 2004

Feb 04

Ridiculous hyperbole? Check.

Proven By Science2 comments • 752 views

Ridiculous hyperbole? Check.
Sexy fake-mathematical selling points? Check.
Hilarious dangling modifiers? Check.

Introducing our exciting NEW laser engraved pen… the INFINITY EXTREME!

I’d like to take this opportunity to present the laser-engraved INFINITY EXTREME pen to you. Please take a moment to look at the enclosed free sample with your business name and address permanently engraved on the barrel – it won’t wear off!

Given as a business gift or sign of appreciation, customers, employees and associates will be pleased and imprssed with your personalised INFINITY EXTREME pens.

Plus, every time they’re used your business will benefit—
=> Valued by customers and associates, your special message will always be at their fingertips!
=> Useful and attractive, you’ll gain valuable advertising every time they’re used!

YES! I want to give out LASER-ENGRAVED INFINITY EXTREME pens to benefit my business, available colours: Extreme Blue, Extreme Red, Extreme Teal, Extreme Grey, Extreme Orange, Assorted…

Extreme Teal!!

Gallery Exhibit Satire:

The Brown WedgePost a comment • 300 views

Gallery Exhibit Satire: The British museums current health exhibition contains various totems, fetishes and traditional remedies from South America, Adrica and Asia. From the past to the present, cures from gripe water to Mexican Day Of The Dead figurines. And bang up to date with a cabinet dealing with Africas current response to the AIDS crisis.

The cabinet was empty, pending exhibits arriving.

Empathy vs demonstration.

Do You SeePost a comment • 227 views

Empathy vs demonstration. The Dreamers has this problem in spades. Let me explain. Suppose you are making a film about the boredom of small town life. Do you just show said boredom in a detached fashion, or do you go further. Do you risk your audience empathising with your characters too, you literally expeirence the boredom too. Perhaps more powerful, but who wants to see a boring film.

Empathy is something a lot of films strive for after all. The horror movie does not work unless we catch a degree of the terror off of the dumbass teenages who just split up. And the cheap’n’nasty current vogue for jerky and impossible to work out what is going on war choreography is all about promoting the chaos of war*. But as noted above, the empathy of boredom is a tricky one to master. Bernado Bertolucci comes near it in The Dreamers and does not quite succeed.

Problem is the Dreamers is set in Paris ’68. An American student, and two nicely rich and bohemian young twins strike up a friendship based on cinema and sex. There are some nice pieces about cinephilia here, reproducing the Louvre race in Bande A Part, death is Scarface. But all the while, as their sexual experimentation gets more daring, there is a revolution going on outside the window. A revolution we barely get to see because we stick with the dramers, moping about naked in berdrooms and bathrooms. The point is that this kids talk revolution, but don’t do revolution. The film is chastizing their non-involvement, and then questions their final embroilment. But the self-obsessed, self-indulgent ideals of the kids is also unfortunately the pattern of the film. I want to see outside that window, even if they don’t. And so in being force to empathise with the kids, I end up being more annoyed by them than anything else.

This is not helped by the fact that when we finally get some action, the film ends. Pah! I guess a bit like a dream. Empathy again.

*And not about saving money, or being filmed by technical incompentents.

Rave on the feel the equidae

Do You SeePost a comment • 1,479 views

Rave on the feel the equidae! In new I LOVE HORSES news, Do You See feels the noble duty presenting itself to point you in the direction of yet another comedy remix of the “I Love Horses and Horse-Riding” theme tune! This time the lucky remixers are DIFFUSION, who I reckon are a bunch of spotty 14 year olds who, upon downloading Cubase instead of Qbert, reckoned it their duty to match the classical Deagostini riff with ahem, banging beats WITH HILARIOUS CONSEQUENCES!

This isn’t as good as the Mystery Bob track, but I’ll give it six of ten.

I Love Horses (Feel Da Voib Mix) – again direct mp3 link so watch out o workshy skivvers.

Juicy quotes:

Proven By SciencePost a comment • 239 views

Juicy quotes:

“At the time, prefrontal lobotomy or orbitofrontal undercutting — a less radical
method of treating severe mental disorders — might have been useful in treating
severely psychotic patients without causing more disruption.”

“While the patient was unconscious for fifteen minutes, the lobotomy was
performed by jabbing an ice pick through the bone above each eye and wiggling
it back and forth.”

COGNITIVE NEUROSCIENCE: THE BIOLOGY OF THE MIND Michael Gazzaniga, Richard Ivry, and George Mangun.

Wow. Now this is what every textbook wished it could be — it just screams ‘suave’ with a post-modern (ho ho) sensibility. We can only assume that the cover art is an ironic comment on the place of optical illusions in our pre/post-apocalyptic society, and the title’s set in high contrast black-on-white, with slick, modern typography. Flipping through the pages, we notice a pleasing pastel color scheme, with several large, interesting color pictures of brain sections, Picasso art pieces, and photographs of famous scientists sprinkled generously throughout. The writing is at once highly informative, professional, and scientific, with just a dash of pleasing asides and colloquialisms. As for the color scheme, periwinkle, eggplant, slate, and oatmeal dominate, oddly reminiscent of colors of loathsome ‘Abercrombie and Fitch’ sweater merchandise, but peculiarly becoming in a textbook setting. Each chapter contains a thought-provoking interview with a prominent neuroscientist. What’s next for this textbook, reviews of German minimal techno 12″s? It’s hard to see how this book could get more hip than it already is.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars.