Posts from 20th January 2003

20
Jan 03

Slap Dee Barnes

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Slap Dee Barnes: another weblog I should be linking, why do I always (re)discover these things the day I update the sidebar? Some great song reviews and write-ups.

BACK IN TANYA’S MAILBOX

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BACK IN TANYA’S MAILBOX

“Hi,
Your article on DJ’s was verry well put. I’ve always said that
calling a
DJ a musician (which some ninnys do) is like calling a waiter a chef.

Some disgruntled jazz musician”

That may well be so, and your compliment is accepted, but you should also realise that liking jazz is like calling a waiter a cunt – you end up getting served wank.

Tom’s Top Ten

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Tom’s Top Ten
TATU – “How Soon Is Now?”
STEVIE WONDER – “He’s Misstra Know-It-All”
RANDY NEWMAN – “Love Story”
FLO DAN – “Big Mic Man”
PET SHOP BOYS – “What Have I Done To Deserve This? (Extended Mix)”
FISCHERSPOONER – “The 15th”
SHANIA TWAIN – “I’m Gonna Getcha Good (International Mix)”
ADULT – “Nitelife”
KOMATROHN – “Mirrors And Chrome”
WHAM! – “Wham Rap! (Enjoy What You Do)”

And apologies to Power, Music, Electric Revival for taking so long to fix their link!

Real Music Martyrs

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Real Music Martyrs – with seven reality-pop singles in the Top 40 it was almost inevitable that some scalp or other would be claimed, but oh the unalloyed joy – and for once RMM is dropping its neutrality – that this week’s RMM should be the comeback single for Reef, stalled at No.44 while the Sneddons of this world rampage through the charts which were once Reef’s by right (or wrong). A shame that More Fire Crew were denied the Top 40 too – and a shame that David Sneddon’s single is so awful – but these are only minor blemishes on the skin of pop’s happy smiling face this morning.

PUT SOME ZIPS ON THE FLAMING LIPS

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PUT SOME ZIPS ON THE FLAMING LIPS

I have nothing against children’s stories, as long as they don’t involve some magical instrument or other. I do however have something against musicians using their decidedly non-magical instruments to make simpering gibberish like Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots. Flaming Lips records are the musical equivalent of those inept posters of big-eyed kids you find in Athena sometimes – only the terminally weak-minded or the smirkingly ironic could find even a smidgen of value in them, everyone else just feels disgust and a vague pity. You will be unsurprised then to learn that rock critics love the band to death. Most Flaming Lips songs are of course the same – a rudimentary indie-pop tune gussied up by ‘achingly beautiful’ production (i.e. someone holding a button down on the synth) and the quavering vocals of an idiot man-child. The songs this weediest of all voices sings are either bad teenage sci-fi stories or dribbly platitudes – “Do you realise that everyone you know someday will die?” YES I DO you addled wretch, what I can’t comprehend is why you are adding to the pain of our too-brief lives with this nonsense? The title track of Yoshimi… is about a heroic Japanese girl who uses karate to battle evil robots. If you think this is cute, or quirky, or god forbid ‘visionary’, then you need to be gelded. If Wayne Coyne is a visionary so is Purple Ronnie. The Flaming Lips do at least get one thing right, their name – listening to them is precisely as pleasant as cystitis. Pass the cranberry juice.