Posts from 28th January 2002

28
Jan 02

sparks in stone lanes

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sparks in stone lanes: more more more Sinker! And while we’re at it, a note on the “URGENT AND KEY” section. There are two ways to be promoted to the urgent and key section. One: be good. Two: bribery. There are two ways to be demoted from it. One: get worse. Two: not update enough, by my callous and arbitrary definition of “enough”. Owners of relegated sites can decide for themselves which applies, based on their personal levels of paranoia and guilt.

Explaination for large condom delivery at the Neverland Ranch:

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Explaination for large condom delivery at the Neverland Ranch: Michael Jackson just loves the water fights. He loves getting all damp in his fortress of wettitude, loves the joy and laughter that comes from drenching little kids in wet T-Shirts. Really it is impossible to read this story without the usual connotations with any Mikey story coming in. Still it might explain why his nose is collapsing. Its not a failure of plastic surgery, no – its dissolving.

THINGS THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE (But Pubs Expect Us To Do) : 3

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THINGS THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE (But Pubs Expect Us To Do) : 3

Drink our last pint faster than any other pint we have drunk. If you watch the drinking habits of anyone you will notice that the first pint of the night goes down considerably quicker than any other. Indeed if you were that way inclined you could quite easily draw a graph of pints consumed on the x axis and time taken on the y axis. You will undoubtedly get a firm progression leading up to the quite unavoidable fact that in a perfect world the final pint of the night will take well over half an hour to drink, possibly closer to forty five minutes. Yet we get twenty, and twenty with significant hassle as well in certain central London joints.