Posts from 24th January 2002

24
Jan 02

While we’re talking lists and such…

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While we’re talking lists and such…

“The Best Albums Ever…Honest” is a list by Wire critic and Telstar Ponies main man David Keenan. It’s problematic (aren’t they all…) because it falls squarely between the twin poles of idiosyncratic (good!) and conventional canon reinforcement (bad!). Keenan’s certainly a rockist (Robert Johnson, blah blah; Rolling Stones & Zep, yaaaaaaaawn; no disco or dance or funk outside of Maggot Brain; hiphop?, why Public Enemy of course…and then we all go narcoleptic.) But any list which includes Tiny Tim, Throbbing Gristle and Belle and Sebastian is worth at least a look.

A rock version of Flaubert’s

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A rock version of Flaubert’s Dictionary of Received Ideas is a long-cherished project of mine. Like most of my long-cherished projects, somebody’s gone and done it while I sat on my arse: hats off to Jonathan Valania for this magnificent parody of rockism, canon-building, and the assorted banalities and brainfarts that pass as music press opinion these days. Quoting it would do it an injustice – but be sure and e-mail him for the (even funnier, I hope) full-length version.

Freaky Trigger

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Freaky Trigger Needs YOU: a while back I was planning to redesign NYLPM and turn it into something different, and I wanted writers. Several people got in touch. Then all sorts of bad things happened and the project fell apart. But now NYLPM is back on its regularly-updated feet again I think it might be a good idea to expand the ‘staff’, as it were. So if you like writing about music and linking to foolish or interesting music articles, and you think you could post, ooh, once a week let’s say, then please drop me a line. If you wrote to me last time then please do write again and let me know if you’re still into the idea, too. It would help if you don’t think pop music is absolutely dreadful, but you probably wouldn’t be reading this if you did.

Freaky Trigger also needs new articles so help us keep our (currently pretty good) turnover of new writing high. If you’ve got any ideas for pieces please write in: especially encouraged are personal writing, thinkpieces, and articles about things you don’t think are getting covered much at the prominent music sites. You don’t have to write about music, by the way – other parts of pop culture are fair game too.

I am a terrible correspondent but will really try to not let e-mails languish this time. Thanks!

So Solid Crew recruit more members

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So Solid Crew recruit more members: thirty was not enough. One of them is Trigger off TV’s Only Fools And Horses! Possibly. Also Romeo is to release a solo single called “Where For Art Thou Romeo?”, which has Romeo’s rapping brother asking other So Solid members where they were when Romeo was fictionally kidnapped. It’s a “Who Shot JR?” for the garage generation!

Just thought

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 265 views

Just thought I’d point out that All Bar One is neither a pub nor a bar. According to its owners, it is a restaurant. Six Continents, which used to be Bass Taverns, has two main areas of operation: Pubs and Bars, and Restaurants. The outlets in its Pubs area include O’Neills, Goose, Ember Inns, It’s A Scream and Hollywood Bowl. All Bar One, however, is lumped in with Browns, Innkeepers Lodge, Toby Carvery and Harvester – which is totally appropriate, if you think about it.

All Bar One is pressing its restaurant status by introducing table service. FACT: table service has no place in a pub. Ergo, All Bar Ones are not pubs and should nevermore be mentioned on this publog.

Peggy Lee, RIP

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Peggy Lee, RIP – new on FT, by Elisha Sessions, forgot to link to this last night.

Tray etiquette

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 331 views

Tray etiquette: As a response to “Things which are impossible (but pubs expect us to do) 2”.We were in the Spreadeagle last Friday, myself and a good selection of publoggers. My round came rather late in the evening (I believe I may have top and tailed it – in as much as I got a small early round and the last round of the night had hit me). We were lucky enough to have a smallish table which were extremely crammed around as the rest of the pub was pretty solid with the usual Friday cram. The bar being approximately twenty yards away I considered the multi-trip option with two drinks per trip – no-one ever comes to help. And then I noticed the trays. Sitting in the corner of the bar thoroughly unloved. So I asked for one.

Now my multi-braided Aussie barmaid looked a bit confused. I vaguely got the feel questioning my manhood. Could I not carry six drinks through the crowd, pissed as I already was. She didn’t even know where you look. In the end she followed my point to the round plastic discs and voila, I had a tray. I also got more looks as I attempted the assault course walk back. A tray makes manoeuvring a lot harder than the two drink option. But worse was to come. On achieving the table with minimal spillage I had to contend with massive shifts in distribution of weight as people took their drinks (causing slightly more spillage). I returned to the bar with the tray and its small puddle of beer in it wondering whether it had been worth it. I’m not sure.

Flute Watch – update:

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Flute Watch – update: As I have deemed this the year of the flute it is my duty to notify you of another big flute tune doing the rounds. Dance For Me, by Mary J. Blige has another great use of this most lilting of instrument. Well, okay, it might be a piccolo – but since a piccolo is merely a baby flute let us not be ageist here. All piccolos grow up into flutes, if you treat them well. And here it is being treated very well as a nice counterpoint to a rather upbeat for Blige effort.

YOU KNOW, FOR KIDS

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YOU KNOW, FOR KIDS

It’s very difficult to remember the music you heard when you were a kid. I’m not talking about the music that was playing. I’m talking about the music you heard. Twenty years on I know that I was allowed a record player in my room for the first time, on loan, and I know that I borrowed my parents’ original copy of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and played it over and over again. So what did I hear? I’m not sure.

I know there weren’t any other records to play, though, and Sgt.Peppers is a great children’s record anyway. It has cut-outs in the sleeve. It has the band playing dress-up. It ends with an almighty huge crash (actually not as noisy as it should have been but I got the idea). It has “When I’m Sixty-Four” and a song about a traffic warden and another song with calliopes and yet another one with farm animals. It has weird songs you can’t quite get the hang of, too – like all great children’s art it panders to the age you at the same time as making you feel that little bit older. It’s such a good children’s record I can’t imagine enjoying it now I’m grown-up.

But what was I thinking, what was I feeling, when I played it? I can’t remember – a wisp of sadness maybe at “She’s Leaving Home”? Irritation, yes, at something in “Fixing A Hole” – the way the chorus rose up and floated off? That’s as close as I can come. Meanwhile something else is playing, right now, and I’ve lost my remote. And I’ve got monthly report summaries to write. And I’m not sure there’s enough milk in the fridge.