Posts from 7th January 2002

Jan 02


I Hate Music3 comments • 2,097 views


There is a whole layer of hell reserved for Robbie Williams, whilst Nicole Kidman – for attempting to revive the musical in 2001 – gets at least two or three levels to herself. But taking the song which they took back to number one at face value, there is something all more disturbing about the original version. I know it was a simpler age, I know people we not as cynical as today – but surely someone noticed that this was a song about a father and son spending the night in bed together.

Surely the FBI, who wanted to topple Frank Sinatra for his mob connections, could have at least used the premise of paedophilia in the song as a reason to hall in ole blue eyes and give him a quick – doobie doobie doo – kicking. If not for his mafia connections, for his decades of clicking his fingers and singing in a monotone. Why do you think Nancy Sinatra ended up singing with Lee Hazlewood. He is the only man in pop with less of a vocal range than her father. No Something Stupid is a distubring love song which keeps it in the family. Perhaps Frank should have changed his name to be like his daughter: Noncy Sinatra sounds about right.

I normally wouldn’t go near a Wetherspoon’s

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 304 views

I normally wouldn’t go near a Wetherspoon’s with much more than a bargepole. Problem is, some of their pubs are so cavernous that they could quite happily accommodate a fellow with a bargepole slung under his arm. The Coronet on Holloway Road is one such example. It is possibly my least favourite Wetherspoon’s in the country – because it combines the desecration of my two favourite things. Pubs and cinemas.

The Coronet used to be a independent cinema, and such being the nature of these things closed down about ten years ago. In moved old JD with their typical sensitivity. When Wetherspoon’s convert non pubs into their barn sized drinking dens they are usually at pains to leave some reminder of its original purpose. In this case its a lovely new neon sign outside, and a vague faux projector on the inside. However the rest of it is the usual swirly carpets, cheap clean varnished wood and a bar the length of half the building. Yes it is a deep pub, but it is also a very high pub, as high as the cinema was. This lack of visible ceiling leaves one feeling a bit disconcerted, but I suppose the aim is to squirrel away the rest of the smoke from its smoking areas.

One of my biggest problems with Wetherspoon’s is its disingenuous appropriation of pub culture. The chains success is due to blanding out traditional pubs, and presenting themselves as some sort of pub saviour. No music, no real atmosphere they cater well for someone who wants to pop in for a pint and a burger – or wants to drink on their own for next to no money. Yes they are cheap, yes they even serve a good selection of beers. But they are merely the MacDonalds of the pub world, the pub for the person who doesn’t like pubs. Which is why they bought The Coronet – its a cinema. If you are stuck on the Holloway Road, you are a lot better off going to The Head.

POP-EYE 6/1/02

New York London Paris MunichPost a comment • 234 views

POP-EYE 6/1/02

What an inauspicious week to restart Pop-Eye. However we start as we mean to go on in the year 2002 (palindromic which must be good – just like that classic pop year 1991). Let me explain, pop music sales work a bit like a sawtooth feedback wave, in as much as they build themselves up to a frenzy just before Christmas, and then reset themselves to a level which could be accurately described as ‘No sales at all’ in the first month of the year. This of course encourages minority or niche bands with strong fanbases to sling singles out and see if they can get a high – if meaningless – chart position.

That said, only a fool would do that on New Years week, when there is only half the available selling time and your fanbase is more likely to be tempted by the offers in the HMV sale than buying the fifth single off your album. And indeed, only fools have released singles this week. Chesney Hawkes, chasing his second number one. Chasing it at a quite unattainable distance. Which leaves only two serious new releases this week. Ash – trying their luck with the fifth single off the Free All Angels album, and the police cheeking bad boys of the boy band scene – The Backstreet Boys. Neither single is much cop, neither is essential to their fans, who will already own the tracks, and therefore neither have really troubled the charts.

Ash – the acceptable face of post-pre-pubescent-punk-pop (if such a thing can ever strictly be called acceptable) had a good year in 2001. The relative failure of Nu-Clear Sounds – their second album wasn’t surprising. While we will take seventeen year old making a pretty basic if joyous racket, we expect them to put away their childish things by the time they hit twenty. Oddly though, they find themselves in the position of being elder statesmen of British rock, we has allowed them to go back to their fizzy roots, as long as they occasionally use dance beats and the like. Tim Wheeler is still out of tune, and the plaintive yelps of There’s A Star are thoroughly unnecessary in single form. Chart position of 13 is thoroughly unsurprising then.

The Backstreet Boys spent much of 2001 being the elder statesmen of US Boy Bandery – and therein lies the problem. Boy and elder don’t exactly mix. To be fair their last few releases have been solid, if relatively uninspiring, and Drowning is cut from the same cloth. Unfortunately BSB have dropped silly from their repertoire – which made earlier hits like Everybody such fun. Drowning is a mid-tempo ballad which isn’t sure whether it requires stools or not, and in the scheme of things a meaningless number four is more than they deserve. You will not remember it next week, let alone next month.

So to the top of the charts. As I said, the sales this week will be about a quarter of the week before Christmas, and the more festive tunes also suffer extra sales wipeouts. Why would anyone buy Something Stupid when they were given the album for Christmas? The charts abhor a vacuum however, so something without an album to weaken it, and with strong sales romps back to the top. Which would be a fair fight between Gordon ‘King Crimson + Pub Singer’ Haskill, and Daniel Bedingfield – if it was not quite so plain that everyone was buying ‘How Wonderful You Are’ for their wives and mums for Christmas. Haskill plummets to the mid twenties never to bother us again unless we accidentally tune into Radio 2. So despite a good bounce back up the charts by oblong headed Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Danny Bedroomeyes goes back to the top. So we say good luck to the white Craig David in building a big enough profile to ensure his next single at least gets to number twenty.

The Secret Of Our Success

New York London Paris MunichPost a comment • 470 views

The Secret Of Our Success: classic cheap excuse for weblog content alert! Here’s what people are coming to Freaky Trigger looking for:

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Does Aaron Carter have a girlfriend?
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freaky crap
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models from jay-z’s girls girls girls video
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nik kershaw wouldnt it be good mp3 site
“I am a cider drinker” lyrics
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Our reputation as the thinking man’s pop site is truly built on a solid foundation! (We’ll be moving this ‘feature’ onto the sidebar I think.)

The terrorists have won.

New York London Paris MunichPost a comment • 189 views

The terrorists have won.: still it sorts out my list problem.