Posts from 26th June 2001

26
Jun 01

Aint No Party Like A Sussed Club Party

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Aint No Party Like A Sussed Club Party: like plucky kids in a Children’s Film Foundation epic, last Thursday saw DJs Cabbage, Carsmile and Cockfarmer take to the half-working decks in a flooded nightclub and entertain hordes of partygoers in triumphant style. So triumphant, in fact, that after toting up the bar receipts they’ve invited us back! Thursday July 5 sees the return of Club Sussed at Club Latino in Oxford. £3 on the door, playing things that make you go ‘aw’. More details as I get them but all sorts of thrilling innovations are mooted including a new face in the DJ booth (a nation gasps). Whether or not I’ll be allowed to get away with this is less certain….

THE INCONSISTENT BEATLES

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You know, being the most respected rock’n’roll band that ever existed must have been a difficult gig. Not only were they constantly tortured by the self knowledge that they were actually crap, but the Beatles also had to suffer from their words being taken literally. Just as Elvis Presley has The Church Of The Latter Day Elvis, there are two factions of a Beatles religion fighting a fatwa (or Ringo – aka The Fat One) over the one true Beatles Religion. Much like the heresy of Protestantism there is merely one schism which separates the two creeds, who would otherwise be joined in their belief that All You Need Is Love (pacifists), that Tomorrow Never Knows (anti-determinists) and Baby, They Can Drive My Car (thieving Scouse bastards). Even as we speak people are dying in this cause to show that theirs is the true way, light and that Octopus’s Garden is actually a metaphor and not a pile of nursery rhyme wank. Let us examine the case:

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Charlotte Raven today:

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Charlotte Raven today: “[The British are] committed to making stuff happen in the short time they’ve got. We’ve got a genius for compression. That’s why we’re so good at pop songs.” Hmmm.

STOOGES – “REAL COOL TIME”

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STOOGES – “REAL COOL TIME”
adapted for the stage, a play in one act.
dramatis personae:
me – me.
her – her.

setting:
suburban bedroom(s), 1969.

[a telephone rings. a telephone is answered.]

her: “hello?”
me: “can I come over tonight?”
her: “why?”
me: “can I come over tonight?”
her: “no, no, i got that much. what i want to know is why?
me: “what do you think I wanna do?”
her: [sighs]
me: “that’s right. can I come over tonight?”
her: …
me: “i say we will have a real cool time tonight.”
her: [grudgingly] “oh, alright.”

[cue air-guitar solo to heavily wah-wah’d track]