Posts from April 2001

25
Apr 01

After two weeks in the wilderness

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After two weeks in the wildernessPop Eye returns just as the UK charts suddenly get rather good. Pete tells you what you need to know? Does this mean Dr. Pop, Tanya and Duel Of The Dead can be far behind? Um ah…..watch this space.

Am I Cool Or Not?

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Am I Cool Or Not?: the long-awaited results of Celebrity Am I Cool Or Not!

24
Apr 01

Hold the front page! Pete in hand-washing-in-pub-toilet shocker!

Pumpkin Publog1 comment • 618 views

Hold the front page! Pete in hand-washing-in-pub-toilet shocker! I didn’t think men actually washed their hands in pub toilets. Or at all. I am pleasantly surprised…. and somewhat disbelieving.I would just add that in the absence of a roller towel (OK, not a single word but a perfectly acceptable phrase) or a hand dryer, wiping your wet hands on your trousers is de rigueur, unless you are wearing PVC trousers in which case it doesn’t work.

Look how keen new publoggers can be.

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 254 views

Look how keen new publoggers can be. This masterpiece of hand dryers is by soon to be invited Dave Boyle – who some of you may remember from the Blue Posts pub-crawl. (Memo to self – pub of failure needs doing one day).

Proof, it it were needed, that capitalism doesn’t quite work in the ways imagined in economics textbooks can be found in the micro-market of pub hand dryers. Neatly side stepping the vexed issue of whether those towels-on-a-rack-type-thing (is there a word for them in the English language?) are more hygenic and/or environmentally friendly, there is a huge disparity in effectiveness of the various models. The technology can’t be at issue; there can’t be much more to the situation than a) a large blower type arrangement (as seen in all good-hairdryers) b) a means for this to be transferred to the hands and face and finally c) some way to turn them on and off.

The problems come in all three of these areas. Surely, someone, somewhere in the design process should have pointed out some of these common faults…
Designer: “What do you make of this revolutionary new design that will transform the hand washing habits of the British?”
Tester: “Er, it’s a great design sir, but unfortunately (insert as necessary):
1) the blower is so weak that it does not actually dry your hands.
2) the mechanism to direct the airjet to your face causes the unit to turn itself off instantly when you try this.
3) Moving your hands slightly (as advised to aid the drying process) causes the motion / light sensor to disengage, causing the unit to shut down

These rather obvious flaws have nevertheless not stopped a profileration in suppliers of hand dryers, undermining a lynchpin of capitalism that good R and D, combined with a good product successfully marketed is the key to success. Why these cowboys survive I’ll never know. Some are just so bad that they have the feel of a fifth-form GCSE technology project. Thankfully, salvation exists in the form of the king of hand dryers. Please raise your glasses to the ‘World dryer’ from the Warner Howard corporation, of Honeypot Lane, Stanmore, Middlesex (which was also the location of the British Academy’s postgraduate funding division, fact fans). It’s got everything – 7500 revs per minute, according the their website (http://www.warnerhoward.co.uk/hygiProd/handdry/handdry.htm), a swivel head to direct and a solid springy responsive switch. They should have cornered the market and every pub should have one, but as they don’t, I can only conclude that Milton Friedman should be shot.

23
Apr 01

Lies, Damn Lies and….

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Lies, Damn Lies and….

They say that statistics are useless without proper analysis – however I think there is a certain beauty in this following set (courtesy of John McGhee – official FT pop statistician). However if you want to analyse them feel free.

14% of Travis’s song “Turn” is comprised of the word “turn”.
16% of Travis’s song “Sing” is comprised of the word “sing”.

There are 173 words in the lyrics to “Turn”, which appear the following
number of times.

25 times: turn
16 times: I
13 times: to
10 times: want
8 times: we
5 times: and, the
4 times: if, learn, live, sing
3 times: be, in, might, then, world
Twice: a, believe, feel, it, long, my, see, so, song, survive, that, very,
where, will, won’t
Once: balloon, before, belong, big, come, door, felt,
forever, grow, I’ll, kingdom, know, like, moon, much, never, outside,
people, saw, sky, stars, strong, there’s, unless, up, We’ll, what, what’s,
where’s, young

There are 123 words in the lyrics to “Sing”, which appear the following
number of times.

20 times: sing
8 times: nothing
7 times: you
4 times: going
3 times: be, been, but, the, to, you’ve
Twice: a, baby, bring, for, gonna, her, if, love, mean, on, so, thing,
unless, won’t
Once: sun, and, cause, colder, crazy, crying, do, early,
everything’s, fine, get, have, hold, hurry, I, in, lately, long, low, no,
one’s, right, say, seems, shoulder, so, solo, something, stopped, surely,
tell, there’s, today, too, waiting, why, your, you’re,

The chorus of Turn is as follows:

And if we turn, turn, turn, turn
Then we might learn
Turn, turn, turn, turn
Turn, turn, turn

The chorus of Sing is as follows:

But if you sing, sing
sing, sing, sing, sing
For the love you bring won’t mean a thing
Unless you sing, sing, sing, sing

Last one in the pub is a rotten egg

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 258 views

Last one in the pub is a rotten egg I would maintain that, under normal circumstances, it is rather good to be the last person in a group of mates to arrive in the pub. Although you might be asked to buy a round, it is generally worth it. People are pleased to see you; because you have only just arrived and others are already quite merry, you are made a fuss of. “Hi”, “So where have you been?”, “What’s going on?”, “What do you think of this?” and so on. Also, because you are not as drunk and your brain/mouth coordination is better, you are likely to come out on top in conversation.

An exception to this rule is when you are meeting people who have spent five hours supping wheat beer and Gambrinus. When you arrive, they will be extremely lairy and will pounce upon you with witticisms (i.e. shouting) and jibes (i.e. more shouting) because, in their eyes, you are a sober, tardy KILLJOY. Your only course of action is to drink until 3.00am or until someone else is sick, whichever is sooner.

An aside: If your Czech is OK, take a look at the Gambrinus website. Click on this, then hit CIHLICKY for a rather groovy Arkanoid-style javagame.

That

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That Entertainment Weekly Review In Full: (from cover date Friday 27 April)

FREAKY TRIGGER: POP MUSIC FANZINE
Music writing labeled “brainy” is often dismissed as boring or irrelevant, but the B-word is the not-so-secret ingredient that makes Freaky Trigger — an ultrasmart fanzine about pop music — so irresistible. Weekly features plus reviews and older stories represent a fair mix of crowd-pleasing ditties (Top 40 radio standbys like Shaggy) and esoteric hipster raves (college-radio staples like Jim O’Rourke). Nearly everyone can appreciate FT’s meditations on ’80s music or the fantasy pop league (where rock stars are awarded points for their oh-so-rockin’ behavior). A-
Must-Visit: (url for I Love Music) Approach this message board with caution: Threads include “Do We Really Need A Post-Punk Canon?” Uh, yes.

Freaky Trigger’s publisher sez: pity we stopped doing the Fantasy Pop League, eh? I’m rather pleased with this. Thanks to Spy Kids (Philadelphia Division) for the alert and copy-up.

Toploader anagrams

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Toploader anagrams:

POT ORDEAL
APE OR DOLT?
PLOD TO EAR
TA, OLD ROPE

(Thanks to John for these)

At least three people caught out on Friday night by the fake door at the

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 436 views

At least three people caught out on Friday night by the fake door at the Lord John Russell. Tee hee. Although as has been pointed out to me it is a real door just one that has been locked or glued up or whatever you do to doors to stop them opening.

New articles are up!

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New articles are up! Otis Wheeler takes another bow with the Third Door, while POP: ART makes its debut by interviewing Tim Bowness from the excellent group No-Man.