Posts from 7th November 2000

7
Nov 00

DR. TANYA’S WORLD OF BIOLOGY…. “Trouble” – Coldplay

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DR. TANYA’S WORLD OF BIOLOGY….

“Trouble” – Coldplay

Too right you’re in trouble, my lad, for your pitiful knowledge of the animal kingdom, sub-section arachnids. If you are in the “centre” of a web, then the likelihood is that that you are the spider, and therefore not “caught” in it, even if it was built by some nebulous “They”.

Also, if you’re going to write ballads with such ignorant lyrics it’s a good idea to get past Chapter One of Elton’s World’O’Pop, “The Piano” and gen up on a few other instruments, eh?

DR TANYA LOOKS AT THE SCIENCE IN…. “Save The Best Til Last” – Vanessa Williams

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DR TANYA LOOKS AT THE SCIENCE IN….

“Save The Best Til Last” – Vanessa Williams

“Sometimes the snow comes down in June”
You cannot argue with this one. Sure, those of us in the Northern Hemisphere may mope that its a relatively rare occurance but as anyone who has been caught in a Nepalese Junetime blizzard will testify, that snow doesn’t just come down in June. Avalanches have been know.

But hey, its not that line that lily-livered Indie fans turn their nose up and use to prove all pop is rubbish. Its the next line:
“Sometimes the Sun goes round the Moon”.
Ha ha, they say from their dorm rooms. Vanessa must be even dumber that the pre-renaissance Popes. Well, Dr Tanya (its short for Damn Right) has news for them. Sometimes, in fact quite often, the sun goes round the moon. It all depends on your point of origin. If we fix the moon as our universal point of origin then everything moves around it. In particular the sun can be plainly seen to orbit the moon, handily proved by the existance of both Lunar and Solar eclipses. I’ve drawn a diagram on the back of a fancy cocktail mat and I’ll post it to you if you want.

One day the leading Universities in the world will notice that they are not so much learning institutions as places where small town kids can go an watch bands. If Cambridge downed library and set up a facility merely to house snot-nosed Indie kids, they would save an awful lot of money. Give them internet access, a CD burner and a radio which they can pooh-pooh, but do not pretend that they are being educated.

Do not slag off “Save The Best Til Last” because of some belief in its dubious science. Instead face the fact. It is merely rubbish in itself.